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first date with Japanese girl(s) advice

You confused 2 girls. With one I talked on line for over year and just went to a movie and gave omiyage. The second agreed for sex and we went to different places together during those 3 months and at theend lived together for a short while.

Of course she had clothes. I wrote "going back from holiday", but with her I never talked about sex
 
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and it was worth all those strike outs :D
no games, no "empty" dates, just fun.And all the strike outs happened before I even came to Japan, so I could fully enjoy my trip from first night (hug, wait for first bus, cause it was really late and they were not coursing for few hours, and manga caffee to rest after long flight^^) to last
 
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I had it every week and later almost every day, but all the time with the same person ^^'. Of course trying it with many people would be best, but with my average/below average look, shyness, "sticking to the plan" mentality I would be just getting striked out all the time on normal dates, since from what I read here Japanese woman don't take initiative (although my experiences were totally different and that is why I shared them). Actualy from those 3 women I met (I will write here about the 3rd) I "invited" only the one for sex, so my experience is that they are actually pretty proactive (and remember there were many from Tinder that also asked me out, but we never met).

Try, fail, repeat also wouldn't help a lot, because even if I knew what to do my personality wouldn't allow for that... so just have to be happy with what I got. And it would be a lot of wasted time, since as I said before just meeting someone isn't really that interesting for me.

Anyway the topic was about first dates, so we are going off the rails now. I had one more "date" with another woman, but that went in a totally friendly atmosphere. Ghibli museum, no hugs, no holding hands...and actually that was the only "date" fully in japanesee even though she just came back from 1 year trip "around the world" that included long stays in english speaking countries to learn the language. And it ended with spectaculary awkward high five like thing, cause I had no idea what to do.

The one that bothered me was the cinema->restaurant-> cinema "date", I mentioned it a little, but she is also a little bit of otaku, that spends a lot of free time in home alone, so she also didn't have a lot of dating experience, so all the "signs" and "hints" might have had no meaning or different meaning from what veterans like You are used to. If I ever learn the truth what was going thruth her head during that "date" I will post an update.

Sorry I missed that

MikeH said:
I don't think that word means what you think it means. At least from where I come living together and having sex together is a bit more than friendly.
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I think words like that can have many definitions depending on people that use them. Just like "date". When 2 people meet, one of them might think it was a date and the other thought about it as a normal meeting. It all depends on their individual feelings. I think that what makes difference between friend and girlfriend/boyfriend are emotions and not actions, so I am using term friend. Of course many people need some special emotional bond to take ceratin actions (like sex), so that might sounds weird when someone else does those things, but doesn't have the same feelings we are used to. But isn't situation like that called friends with benefits ?
 
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Nazo said:
Try, fail, repeat also wouldn't help a lot, because even if I knew what to do my personality wouldn't allow for that...
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Your personality is not some static thing that is given to you at birth and stays then the same until you die. Rather it changes and develops all the time based on your experiences and actions. So you can also purposely steer that change to the direction you would like to be.
 
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It's obviously not my first date with a Japanese girl but since I need some advice I thought I might as well post here.
We met for the first time on xmas eve and started kissing within an hour. We stayed together for 8 hours but she's not ready to escalate (or maybe she doesn't want to give the impression she's too easy) so I need to organize a date "somewhere romantic" (her request) that starts fairly early and ends with a nice view of Tokyo at night (again, her request) with lunch and dinner in between and possibly something cultural squeezed in as well (and she also enjoys walking through neighbourhoods that have some historical flavour). She's not from Tokyo so there are lots of places she doesn't know yet.

So I thought maybe Ueno (for the museums and park) with nearby Yanesen (for shitamachi and Yanaka cemetery) and then for the night view either Skytree (not too far) or that place in Roppongi whose name I forgot (a bit further away but maybe slightly less crowded?)

The problem when you spend so much time with someone and it's kinda cold outside (not a problem for me but potentially for her) is that it's often hard to find places that offer both warmth and privacy (outside of karaoke and love hotels which are a no-go). She's surprisingly ok with kissing in front of other people but still...

Any advice?
 
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Des Esseintes said:
We met for the first time on xmas eve and started kissing within an hour. We stayed together for 8 hours but she's not ready to escalate (or maybe she doesn't want to give the impression she's too easy) so I need to organize a date "somewhere romantic" (her request) that starts fairly early and ends with a nice view of Tokyo at night (again, her request) with lunch and dinner in between and possibly something cultural squeezed in as well (and she also enjoys walking through neighbourhoods that have some historical flavour). She's not from Tokyo so there are lots of places she doesn't know yet.
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Jesus man sounds like a fckn RPG quest or something. "Gather three sprigs of juniper, slay the dire wolf at the dark copse of trees, convince the old woman to step away from her rocking chair long enough to steal her knitting needle and wait until midnight on the third moon of the new year to unlock the magical vagina"

Fck dat.

I'd just hook up with her first and do all the rest once you're already dating...
 
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Sinapse said:
Jesus man sounds like a fckn RPG quest or something. "Gather three sprigs of juniper, slay the dire wolf at the dark copse of trees, convince the old woman to step away from her rocking chair long enough to steal her knitting needle and wait until midnight on the third moon of the new year to unlock the magical vagina"
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Well, you put what I thought much better than I would have been able.

Fck dat.
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Exactly.
 
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Sinapse said:
Jesus man sounds like a fckn RPG quest or something. "Gather three sprigs of juniper, slay the dire wolf at the dark copse of trees, convince the old woman to step away from her rocking chair long enough to steal her knitting needle and wait until midnight on the third moon of the new year to unlock the magical vagina"

Fck dat.
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HAHAHA

The way I met her is that we were at a Starbuck and I saw her accidentally drop her muffin just as I was paying for my stuff so I added a muffin to my order and brought it to her, after which we spent the whole day together. It could be that she sees me as her gallant knight or something so your description is pretty apt. The way to the magical vagina might be paved with many more trials...
 
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Des Esseintes said:
HAHAHA

The way I met her is that we were at a Starbuck and I saw her accidentally drop her muffin just as I was paying for my stuff so I added a muffin to my order and brought it to her, after which we spent the whole day together. It could be that she sees me as her gallant knight or something so your description is pretty apt. The way to the magical vagina might be paved with many more trials...
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That is very smooth pick up though!
 
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User#8628 said:
That is very smooth pick up though!
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Yeah I never thought I was capable of doing that sort of thing but it happened so fast my brain didn't have time to make any objections.

The few times when I picked up someone in a place that's not designed for that, it was pretty much unintentional. Like a few weeks after landing in Japan and I could hardly speak any Japanese I met a girl in a cafe where I was working on my homework for the language school I was attending. Since she was sitting next to me and didn't seem otherwise occupied I took the chance to practice some of the stuff I had learned with her. At some point I asked her if 大きい was a ーな形容詞 (-na adjective) since she had used it as a -na adjective (it can be used either way but I didn't know it at the time). She looked a bit surprised like she couldn't understand the question. Then she told me she had planned to go home and cook some oden and since it's not much fun to eat oden by yourself, would I be interested in joining in? Well oden led to sex and after the sex was over I said I was surprised we moved so fast from Japanese grammar to sex, to which she replied "Well you said you wanted to be good friends, didn't you?"

That's when I realized that when I asked "-な形容詞ですか?" ("na keiyoushi desu ka?" = "is this a na-adjective?") she had understood "仲良しですか？" ("Nakayoshi desu ka?" = "Are we close friends?").

Probably if it hadn't been for that mistake it would have taken weeks of dating to get to the same point.

The moral of the story is that your brain can be your worse enemy when it comes to picking up girls.
 
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Ok that was just plain weird so I'm sharing part of it just to know if anyone's ever experienced that.

The strangeness started full on (though there were signs before that) when I took her to the top floor of the Roppongi sky deck building to admire the night view. It was around midnight and half empty so we started fooling around a bit but nothing serious, like my hands touched her ass and breast through her bra a bit but nothing more. Suddenly she starts shaking, the shaking turns into convulsions like she's having a fit or something and then for what seems like an eternity she very gradually calms down but is still unable to speak while I'm trying to figure out what is wrong and whether I should call a doctor. Then she calmly explains that she just came (just from kissing??? and that intensely???).

Fast forward to my apartment. She's down for oral sex but no penetration because A. she thinks she's too tight for me and B. that would make us lovers and we're not there yet (why kissing and oral sex are any less intimate than penetration is something I'll never understand but hey whatever floats her boat). She comes multiple times just from me caressing her breast and belly, like even more intensely than the first time, with convulsions, shaking and moaning and panting that turns into screaming every time. At that point I'm seriously worried for her health and 100% sure she's not faking as the whole thing looks almost scary in its intensity. I take off her panties and a viscous pool instantly forms on my bed sheets as she's literally dripping all over the place. After oral sex and masturbation and countless orgasms getting more intense every time, the bed is literally soaked and we have to change the sheets before we can get to the business of getting some sleep (it's almost almost 7 in the morning). After a couple of hours she wakes me up, trembling. She explains that in my sleep with my body coming in contact with hers she gets too excited and cannot sleep as a result so she wants more stimulation so that she can come enough to be able to calm down. I happily oblige and by the time we're done it's well into the afternoon, she came I don't know how many times and she has turned into this lifeless mass that can't muster enough strength to go back home and decides as a result that she will spend one more night at my place. Scared by the perspective of all the hard work it entails, I manage (just barely) to get rid of her after lecturing her on how disappointed her parents will be if she doesn't visit them for oshougatsu.

I know "orgasm" for a woman can refer to a number of things of varying levels of intensity and I have met a few women who could come multiple times in a row from oral sex, masturbation or penetration but it's the first time I meet one who comes almost instantly from just touching parts of her body not necessarily considered the most erogenous such as her neck, back or belly — and multiple times at that, and with an intensity I had never seen.

Any thoughts, past experiences that might be similar? Is there a known medical condition that could explain what happened? Or can it be just chalked off to hypersensitivity?
 
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Sounds HOT!!!!

Yeah, I've had some girls who came close to that, but only after the first time they came, not immediately off the bat like that.
 
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Just Imagine. She is like this without penetration.

Hmmmm

Welp, Penetration it is for you then..

Who knows, she might end up having tears of Joy.
 
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