How To Get Straight-out-of-highschool Japanese Women 18, 19, 20 Years Old...

[matt_j]

Let me preface this post by saying that I am new to this board, but also that while I am female, I am not Japanese. However, here is my tuppence on the matter.

I agree with Ww in his explanation of why young women tend to keep to their age range. May I add, that it wasn't until I was near the end of my undergrad degree that I began mixing with people outside of my age group. Nearly all of the older-than-me gentlemen I met were either professors or parents, neither of which are particularly date-able. It would not be difficult to believe that you are being, perhaps unfairly, lumped into this group in their minds. Additionally, from what you have told us, you do sound nice of paper. Alas, young women are often not looking to find a husband and get married straight away. In my experience (though this might be different in Japan) young marriage is a result of falling in love first. I would focus on being a good date before being good marriage material.

My advice to you is to cold approach as many women as possible. Start with something innocent such as "Excuse me, could you tell me if there is a nice coffee shop near here?" and then maybe offer a compliment such as "You have very beautiful eyes" and then invite her to join you. Be well dressed and good mannered and results should follow. Do not approach a woman with headphones or who is in a hurry, they are not interested in being approached at this time. During the coffee date focus on her interests and try to work what you have to offer into the conversation. Focus on what you can offer short-term as long-term can be a little overwhelming at first.

Lastly, referring back again to Ww's post about being outside of their dating pool, let me add that it is likely that you will need to approach a lot of women. Do not despair, it often just comes down to a numbers game. The psychiatrist Albert Ellis famously approached 100 women on park benches yet only came away with one date (who stood him up). As your details seem a lot more appealing than his were at that time, I'm sure you will do a lot better, but do be realistic.

For a woman, you have a nice grasp of boilerplate PUA language, as well as a strangely familiar writing style...

NICE!

 

[User#16452]

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[MacMackerson]

The secret to being an ALPHA is to capitalize random WORDS. This was done by Ernest HEMINGWAY while hunting GIANT tigers with HIS bare hands.

 

[Wwanderer]

@Ww

Older guys, younger women

I disagree about the age issue, as it's not been an issue for my friends and I. On average, I tend to date Japanese women younger than me and in their 20s.

It may be more about the mindset, insecurities, appearance, or how the guy approaches women.

<sigh> @Solong - You usually read my posts more closely than you appear to be doing in this thread!

I did NOT say that I mostly date women in their 30s or older. In fact I also have been seeing women in the early-to-mid 20s mostly with a few in their 30s and a few in their late teens. At least that has been my pattern in recent years. I've also been in quite serious relationships with women in the 20s. Etc.

I also did NOT say that I think women in their early 20s and late teens are usually bad lovers or that women in their 30s are usually good ones, nor is that my experience.

Furthermore I did NOT say anything at all about the sexual or other psychology of women at different ages and agree with you that it is a more important factor than age...probably the single most important factor.

Finally I did NOT say anything about the relative availability of women as a function of age, and of course you are right that older women (especially attractive and skillful ones) are more likely to be unavailable due to long term relationship, child care etc.

So, I am not sure what you are disagreeing with me about!

Let me paraphrase what I DID say: ANY GIVEN WOMAN tends to develop better PHYSICAL bedroom skills with time, experience and age AS LONG AS SHE REMAINS SEXUALLY ACTIVE AND SEX-POSITIVE.

Is your experience really different from that? Have you seen individual lovers over a period of years in the age range we are discussing who got progressively worse at sexual techniques with as the time passed? If so, do you think that is the usual pattern. I'd be surprised and baffled if that were the case. The ones I have seen over a substantial period of time all improve or at least don't get worse at it. Maybe it is because they are learning from me!

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

The secret to being an ALPHA is to capitalize random WORDS. This was done by Ernest HEMINGWAY while hunting GIANT tigers with HIS bare hands.

I liked this post already, but it has me chuckling so much I want to thank @MacMackerson for the post and draw attention to it...wonderfully droll!

And the whole pop-psychology alpha vs beta thing is pretty lame and silly anyway, imo...and that of most serious psychologists I believe, so it well deserves a bit of ridicule.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

I did read a few PUA manuals in the past

Wow! Then I'm surprised that you fell for my old-school pick-up line in that bar, "I have a great magic trick; I can tell you the date on which you were born if you let me fondle your breasts for 60 seconds." If only I had a photo of the expression on your gorgeous face when I told you the answer!



-Ww

 

[SpookySmoothie]

So you want to devirginize or otherwise 'train' your very own barely legal Japanese girl? Good luck with that. I mean, maybe you can get into some social circles as these sorts of women, but others in these social circles might see you as somewhat pathetic and/or a possible playboy.

I mean, the nice thing about Japanese women is that even in their late 20s and early 30s they look a lot younger than they are, and women with some professional and life experience behind them know more what they want from life. But again, I guess, good luck with your search.

I've seen this romanticising of young girls by older men quite often. It seems like they have this idea that young girls will be in awe of their life experience and sexual experience being this wide eyed naive girl who wants to learn from them. None of this really reflects real reality where as each generation comes they know more than the previous one especially when it comes to sex. I'm pretty sure a great deal of girls in Japan lose their virginity before leaving school I think when I read some statistics the age was around 16/17 on average. These things are just fantasy and not much more it never works in reality.

Would you really want a barely out of high school girl anyway? Young Japanese girls who have never studied abroad are really really annoying and kind of boring. I guess if you just want the status of dating 18 year old girls and a pretty face on your arm it's fine but I wouldn't want to listen to their social life conversations so often. Late 20's and early 30's girls are a far easier catch you just talk about getting serious with them and they'll probably be wetter than Niagara Falls XD.

I think women in Japan have this magic fountain of youth that works until around age 45 when they suddenly start looking about 70. Unless you are used to it most women in their mid to late 20's can pass for 18 or 19 to a gaijin. It's more their mannerisms and speech that gives their age away when they are that young. If you want to have a little fantasy with her and dress her as a virgin schoolgirl she probably won't mind and you won't even have to listen to her talk about boring things after like with the real thing.

 

[Wwanderer]

I thought Japan was very very sex deprived and there are many many Japanese women in their mid to late 20s who are STILL virgins! Is this true? Because I don't have to have an 18, 19, or 20 year old! I'd actually ideally want to marry a woman who's closer to my age, but she CANNOT BE A SLUT!!! A woman of 18-20 years of age is far more likely to not have slept with many, many men, most importantly gaijin men!

Fwiiw, your goals make little or no sense to me personally; I would hate to be facing the life you seem to be seeking. However, that doesn't matter...to each his own, and I can still comment on the issue.

The problem with this idea/approach is that it trades one challenge for another one that seems no less daunting. Namely, your first idea is to go with a quite young ("barely legal") J woman because she is not likely to have much, if any, sexual experience in general and with gaijin in particular. This is statistically difficult because you are asking for a young J-woman who is *already* bold and open-minded enough to go out with a guy who is both much older than her and is not Japanese. Your second idea/possibility of looking for someone close to your own age removes one of these difficulties...the age difference (and "social invisibility" of adults for teens). However, you are now asking for a J-woman (and an attractive one!) who is interested in going out with gaijin but who somehow hasn't managed to do so despite being "available" and "in the market" for 10-15 years! What/who do you imagine she would have been waiting for?! So either way it comes down to the "numbers game", the problem of looking for a quite rare type of woman/opportunity. Which is more likely (less rare)? I really have no clue. It is probably best to take any available opportunity to meet women in either age group and hope for the best.

Btw, I was also wondering how and when you expect to find out about the sexual history of any such Japanese woman you meet (at whatever age in the range you have in mind)? "Have you ever had sex with a gaijin before?" is not the easiest question to work into a getting-to-know-you first date or encounter in a graceful and charming way. Moreover, even if the topic does come up, she may well tell you what she thinks you want to hear rather than the truth. (I have heard rumors, especially from @Solong, that women sometimes lie in order to attract men or otherwise get what they want. I am truly shocked by the idea but have to admit that it is at least a logical possibility. ) Furthermore, note that the J women who have had previous sexual experience with gaijin and who enjoyed it are *exactly* the ones who are most likely to let you pick them up! One would expect a lot of "false positive" pick-up successes it seems to me.

As far as I can judge, you have given yourself a really quite daunting goal.

-Ww

 

[Torky]

(I have heard rumors, especially from @Solong, that women sometimes lie in order to attract men or otherwise get what they want. I am truly shocked by the idea but have to admit that it is at least a logical possibility. )
-Ww

I can vouch for that. Common lies I've seen are
Age
Single or not (on first meet no bf)

 

[NormalGuy]

Also, "you're my first foreign boyfriend", and I shall be convincing all the ones I have fun with to use this line.

 

[User#16452]

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[Wwanderer]

I can vouch for that. Common lies I've seen are
Age
Single or not (on first meet no bf)

OMG! Lying about age and having an SO!! My mind reels...

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

Hmm, I beg to differ. From what I recall, you offered to do something arousing and in public (the mere thought of such a combination gets me wet...) so naturally I consented. If there was some silly wordplay involved in getting you to please me, it's certainly not the part of the evening that I remember

Well, at least I didn't charge you!

-Ww

 

[meiji]

We're getting off topic here....

 

[Torky]

I love meiji, he's like CONSTANTLY monitoring all the topics ww 's in. it's fucking amazing

 

[Solong]

True. I don't doubt that there are a number of young semen demons who would gladly jump OP's bones, it's just a matter of finding them. Again, I really think it's just a numbers game. Could be interesting if OP, or anyone else for that matter, kept a record of cold approach success rates in Tokyo for gaijin, as Japan seems to have a strong love/hate relationship with foreigners.

I agree that it is a numbers game, but that is nearly always the case, and no matter the age of women that men are pursuing. Chasing around 40 year olds is as much a numbers games as chasing 20 year olds. And since that's the case, better for men to go after what they want.

 

[Desktop]

Remember also "I never had a foreign boyfriend" does not equal I never slept with a foreigner. Quite a few young ladies trying to practice English makes mistakes/experiences they often don't share with future males they meet.

 

[Wwanderer]

I love meiji, he's like CONSTANTLY monitoring all the topics ww 's in. it's fucking amazing

Off topic! Please start a separate thread and post a full review of @meiji !

-Ww

 

[veryniceguy]

for sure, a thread out of control.....

 

[Wwanderer]

Remember also "I never had a foreign boyfriend" does not equal I never slept with a foreigner. Quite a few young ladies trying to practice English makes mistakes/experiences they often don't share with future males they meet.

On topic now!

I would love to hear from the OP how he expects to find out whether one of these (young) women he wants to pursue has had sex previously with a foreigner...or about her sexual history in general. This sounds like it would be especially difficult near the beginning of a developing relationship before he has invested much time, attention, money, effort etc in it. This may be even more of a challenge than getting an inexperienced late teen woman to go out with him in the first place.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

I agree that it is a numbers game, but that is nearly always the case, and no matter the age of women that men are pursuing. Chasing around 40 year olds is as much a numbers games as chasing 20 year olds. And since that's the case, better for men to go after what they want.

Yes and no, imo. Yes, people should go for what they want...what is the value of getting something you don't want, after all? However, also no, not ever "numbers game" is the same. Obviously some types of people and potential mates are rarer than others, and it is rational to be aware of that and take it into account. Very obviously, your chances of success get smaller and larger in a numbers game on that basis. In other words, if you are too rigid and too narrowly specific in the sort of person you want for a mate, you probably won't manage it.

-Ww

 

[majimekun]

Well, just to add a comment based on personal experience ...

I'm 43 and my current girlfriend is 19.
I had another one last year with the same age.

First, I'm not seeking virgins in the first place and I assure you guys (the ones who are looking for that) that you could hardly find a girl who's still virgin at 19 in Japan.

I'll be very honest with you, all my youngest girlfriends had deep personal issues (ijime, broken family, etc).
I think that's one of the reason they start seeking for more mature guys.
They seek some kind of "mentor" or a place to feel safer.
Of course I never take advantage of their situation. I help whenever possible.

None of them ever asked me to buy them things (accessories, clothes, etc) but they need some support since they get nothing but pocket money from "baitos".

So basically, you end up paying for all the restaurants and travel expenses as well.

Also, sex with such young girls isn't as enjoyable as you might think.
Because there always are trade-offs .... just like anything else in life.

How to get them?
Until now I've always used apps but it's kind of tiring since most of them won't finally dare to meet you in person because of fear/insecurity.
I don't know how long my current relationship will last but next time, for sure, I'll stop using apps. I'll try hitting on girls in the train stations which sounds easier in the end. One of my co-worker got his current sex-friend just like that (he even told me that lonely girls are just waiting for that to happen).

Anyway, I believe that if you're still young in your head, healthy/sporty, clean and naturally nice, age doesn't become such a problem anymore.

One interesting thing I noticed is that the parents of these girls don't seem to be bothered by the fact that their daughter sleeps with an older guy. (my GFs told me their parents knew my age)

One last thing, as you might guess, such young girls can be very unstable and deceitful.
So never get too emotionally connected with them if you want to protect your sanity
But, at the same time, don't forgive anything.
They need to be shown the limits as it's one of the reason they look for a more mature guy.

Well, since I strictly don't want to marry or have a family, this kind of relationship is "perfect" for me.
And from my experience again, the +40 y.o women who are still single are single for "good" reasons so no thanks.
All you'd get is immaturity in a saggy body.

 

[Solong]

Yes and no, imo. Yes, people should go for what they want...what is the value of getting something you don't want, after all? However, also no, not ever "numbers game" is the same. Obviously some types of people and potential mates are rarer than others, and it is rational to be aware of that and take it into account. Very obviously, your chances of success get smaller and larger in a numbers game on that basis. In other words, if you are too rigid and too narrowly specific in the sort of person you want for a mate, you probably won't manage it.

-Ww

On this we can agree. The longer or more narrow the list of search requirements are, the more problems and difficulties one can expect to have.

"Looking for guy over 6ft (180cm), makes over 200,000 dollars a year, must be a virgin, Catholic, like cats, cooks Italian, must be White, must be from northern Europe, have green eyes, likes drinking wine, must have great fashion sense, goes snowboarding, likes the opera...." Hey lady, you are looking for a magic unicorn, wake the hell up!

It's better to be more open-minded and realistic in what you search for. A guy can definitely meet 19 year old virgins, but how frequent will that be? And if you happen to meet a cute 28 year old woman, do you just kick her to the curb?

For men especially, the game is different. A wide net is more effective than a small one. A man can be more choosy, after he's caught fish in the big net, not when there is no fish in the small net.

 

[Tokyo1447]

I didn't bother reading all 4 pages I'll just give you my examples:

***I'm 38 these are all in the last 2 years

20yo Has bf but bf got jealous about something and called her a "bitchgirl" which translates into slut. So she decided to fuck me to prove him right... She was actually a virgin. She just wanted to get back at him. Poor guy missed out.

22 virgin in uni I picked her up in a piece of shit car I borrowed for a few days. Invited me to her dorm room. It took about 3 weeks to finally bang her. We did anal the day before she lost her virginity. Reason she liked my maturity and straight forward talk and experience.

20 not innocent not pure just loves to fuck. Reason loves to fuck

20 likes to travel is a good girl but likes maturity and someone that can be there when she feels lonely. It's not very often we meet.

21 lives near me. I'm available when she needs someone likes that I don't lie and I say things straight.

20 was moving to Canada and wanted sex experience before she left. Liked mature guys.

There are a few more but...
Timing, your social circle, ect all play a role in how to meet them. I never nampa on the street. We usually just get connected through some common interest.

Good luck

 

[Wwanderer]

I'm 43...

Anyway, I believe that if you're still young in your head, healthy/sporty, clean and naturally nice, age doesn't become such a problem anymore.

Well, since I strictly don't want to marry or have a family...
And from my experience again, the +40 y.o women who are still single are single for "good" reasons so no thanks.
All you'd get is immaturity in a saggy body.

Hmmm...

So, you are single, 40+ and regard your self as a mentally young and attractive hottie but apparently think that there are no female equivalents? There's that old saying about stones and glass houses and then the other one about seeing ourselves as others see us...

On a related but different point, would you say that to the face of a 40+ single woman even if she were a stranger...or would you express the thought more tactfully or not at all? It is probably worth keeping in mind that TAG is a public forum that can be read by all sorts of different people.

-Ww