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Japanese Women & Close-minded Or Racist Interference

Solong said:
The tactic of backstabbing or making friends fear foreigners is something more prevalent in Japan, due to xenophobia. It's not an isolated incident, but something close-minded or racist Japanese engage in a lot.
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I understand what you are saying. I have sat through many meetings etc, and at some there is a dude with a chip on his shoulder, who just disagrees with everything I say, and I know it is because he cannot bring himself to agree with me. I'm not even sure if this is a racial thing or he just doesn't like me personally

The difference between us, I think, is that I just think this guy is a dick of an individual. Whereas you seem to think this is a symptom of Japanese society.

And again I look at the support I receive from the other people in the meeting (like you received from an anonymous Japanese women in your bar story) and take more positive than negative from the interaction.

Solong said:
My Japanese date decides to run out. Likely embarrassed or afraid of the situation. I didn't bother to chase after her, and instead finished telling the bartender about how wrong it is to do the bullshit he pulled. Totally no reason to do that, and I was a customer.
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Don't want to be holier than holy here, but you were on a date, your date partner got upset and runs out, but you decide to argue the point with an inconsequential bartender, rather than go after your date. Sorry mate, but that is a bad call in my book.
 
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@Solong: You must think through what kind of woman reacts this way. Probably a low educated, without personality and ultimately not interesting woman. Why would you want to date such a woman?

My girlfriend never lived out of Japan, can speak conversational English only, but even though she is born and raised japanese (with all the lack of international awareness that implies) she would never believe what a random guy tells her.
That's the kind of woman I like.
 
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Kegger said:
I have sat through many meetings etc, and at some there is a dude with a chip on his shoulder, who just disagrees with everything I say, and I know it is because he cannot bring himself to agree with me. I'm not even sure if this is a racial thing or he just doesn't like me personally
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I know this feeling all too well...
 
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Oh, I was thinking of the hundreds of years of wars and occupation on a literal Shakespearean scale.

I mean, English and French tension goes way back, even to King Arthur's time.

 
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meiji said:
It's particularly fascinating to me that a PUA is calling a guy who cockblocked him is 'sly' and 'cowardly' while he merely shrugs when PUAs actively pick up a girl that came to an establishment with another guy.
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This is different...

I have never advocated to any PUA or guy in general, to backstab and lie to women about a guy she came into a bar with.

In many countries, that's going to be a deadly fight. People are a lot more lenient about things in Japan, but guys everywhere should know better or don't be surprised with what happens.

meiji said:
You didn't own your date. Is it the cockblocking that bothers you that much, or merely the method of cockblocking?
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That's beyond cockblocking, that's disrespect. It's disrespectful to customers, it's general disrespect of people that one doesn't even know, and is indicative of some backwards racist or xenophobic bullshit.

I'm amazed at the mentality of why such guys would even backstab other men like that.
 
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I agree with solong, that is totally disrespectful.

It happened to me that a guy I met one time for business (and therefore had only professional relationship with) was in the same bar as my girlfriend (who was with a friend of hers).
The guy tried to hit on my girlfriend and was very insistant even she said she wasn't interested and that she had a boyfriend.
Somehow he finds out that I am the boyfriend.
You know what the mother fucker did?
He starts telling her about how he is married and he likes to have girls on the side, and that I definitely do the exact same thing, that he knows I am doing so because he knows me... What an asshole.

Anyway my girlfriend didn't believe that guy an
The reported the situation to me.

I had later on a chance to have lunch with his boss and was happy to tell the story and pee a little on his reputation.

I wish I could kick his ass but being in a business relationship with his company this option wasn't on the menu
 
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Kegger said:
Don't want to be holier than holy here, but you were on a date, your date partner got upset and runs out, but you decide to argue the point with an inconsequential bartender, rather than go after your date. Sorry mate, but that is a bad call in my book.
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I don't chase or run after women, particularly in such situations. It doesn't do any good. A righteous woman or one who has her man's back, is going to stand by you and stand up for you.

To hit that point home, I was in Shibuya ( Dogenzaka) with a Japanese woman from Osaka. A bartender was having an attitude and said something odd, that she caught, and I didn't. She was the one who forced the bartender to apologize and called him out on it. That's a woman who I will do extra and special for.

If the nature of the woman is to be cowardly or not to stand by her man, then I'm not going to chase after her and cater to that. I will do what I believe is right, and on that day, it was wasn't to run from a racist coward that backstabs foreign customers.
 
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Solong said:
This is different:

1) I have never advocated to any PUA or guy in general, to backstab and lie to women about a guy she came into a bar with.

In many countries, that's going to be a deadly fight. People are a lot more lenient about things in Japan, but guys everywhere should know better or don't be surprised with what happens.



That's beyond cockblocking, that's disrespect. It's disrespectful of customers, it's general disrespect of people that one doesn't even know, and is indicative of some backwards racist or xenophobic bullshit.
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So....perfectly okay to be disrespectful to a guy's face if you are willing to suffer the consequences, but not okay to be disrespectful behind someone's back. Got it.
 
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meiji said:
So....perfectly okay to be disrespectful to a guy's face if you are willing to suffer the consequences, but not okay to be disrespectful behind someone's back. Got it.
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And yeah. If the guy is that much of a racist or so jealous, then be man enough to say it face to face.

Why scare, lie to, limit her freedoms, or intimidate women?
 
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Solong said:
And yeah. If the guy is that much of a racist or so jealous, then be man enough to say it face to face.

Why scare, lie to, limit her freedoms, or intimidate women?
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I'm sure that guy says "one of my best friends is a foreigner". Bigotry exists everywhere.
 
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Solong said:
If the guy is that much of a racist or so jealous, then be man enough to say it face to face.
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See, this is one of those points where we can agree just fine :)

I much prefer direct confrontation.
 
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Black Mage said:




As for the bartender... it's nothing, really. The things that Japanese guys (especially men are such a dedicated back-stabbers; quite outrageous, in fact) say about foreigners in my office.
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In 2014 i had the opportunity of being alone in tokyo for 4 months. I made some japanese friends (from going to bars and clubs) and ended up dating some girls. With time, i usually would go out with the guys and bring the girls with me, same they did. Later on, one of these girls became friends to a dude who used to say out loud that i was his friend. She told me this guy wouldnt lose the opportunity to talk bad stuff about me, behind my back. Mostly lies.
 
Lenny Furlong said:
She told me this guy wouldnt lose the opportunity to talk bad stuff about me, behind my back. Mostly lies.
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I got used to it. For instance...

A gentleman at my work place actually went and complained to our boss. He said to him that I am demanding too much work from him and he feels uncomfortable, and that I make the whole team upset? What really happened? Glad you ask! Simply... I was moving at western pace with all the software development related activities ignoring his absolutely stunning incompetence (these days, Tokyo University seem to be producing an infinite stream of absolutely useless Computer Science graduates, but that a whole different story to be told... on a different day, perhaps), thus he felt threaten because before I joined his little empire he built for himself he was the local Super Star™, as nobody would ever question what he said.

Then, I join after being hired to "fix things" that were rotting from within, and so he didn't like it. But, instead of going about it like a professional man he is and to "man up" a little, this 35+ years old child went straight to the authorities, so to speak, and cried like a baby sloth that things are bad now since there are more "white faces" running around in the office. I am finding this truly amusing and borderline childish.
 
Kegger said:
I understand what you are saying. I have sat through many meetings etc, and at some there is a dude with a chip on his shoulder, who just disagrees with everything I say, and I know it is because he cannot bring himself to agree with me. I'm not even sure if this is a racial thing or he just doesn't like me personally

The difference between us, I think, is that I just think this guy is a dick of an individual. Whereas you seem to think this is a symptom of Japanese society.

And again I look at the support I receive from the other people in the meeting (like you received from an anonymous Japanese women in your bar story) and take more positive than negative from the interaction.


Don't want to be holier than holy here, but you were on a date, your date partner got upset and runs out, but you decide to argue the point with an inconsequential bartender, rather than go after your date. Sorry mate, but that is a bad call in my book.
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That's a TJB reaction......
 
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You can't win an argument with a bigot.
Rationality doesn't come into it.

I'm talking about the barman here.

Waste of effort. Better to make his day a little better by accidentally spilling your beer or clogging up the toilet.
 
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Kegger said:
You can't win an argument with a bigot.
Rationality doesn't come into it.

I'm talking about the barman here.

Waste of effort. Better to make his day a little better by accidentally spilling your beer or clogging up the toilet.
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LOL! Yeah, I should of perhaps had a massive bathroom or drinking accident.

But it's not just the bartender that I've seen pull that. Over the years, I've watched many close-minded or racist Japanese pull some terrible antics against international or interracial couples. A point is about the scaring and intimidating of Japanese women. Slyly trying to shame or persuade them out of having free choice, being open-minded, or international.
 
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just4fun said:
I believe this report to be total bullshit!!!!!
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The EF report certainly isn't as known, reliable, or respected in the world as the TOEFL and TOEIC. They have been the "gold" standard for years. These tests aren't to be arbitrarily dismissed as "myths".

No way you just dismiss these 2 world famous evaluation examinations, for some nebulous and little known rankings that can have a political purpose.
 
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Solong said:
The EF report certainly isn't as known, reliable, or respected in the world as the TOEFL and TOEIC. No way you just dismiss these 2 world famous evaluation examinations, for some nebulous and little known rankings that can have a political purpose.
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Solong, I'm with you on this part about English ability in Asia
 
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