Many feminists happily date men. The stereotype of feminist = lesbian or "man-hater" is very outdated. There are plenty of male feminists who date female feminists.
No, some of them do not. Not all women enjoy feeling that they need to cover ever blemish on their skin to be seen as attractive or professional.
Have you ever considered why men look ok without make-up but women often look pale and tired? You are socially conditioned to think that. Consider how over the top "everyday" (by some people's standards) make-up for women can look on men:
link.
Many women also do not want to be seen as primarily sexual objects catering to male gaze and reject sexy clothes for this reason. They also believe this leads to rape culture and holds women back from fulfilling their intellectual potential.
Some "choice" feminists argue that things they choose to do (such as sexy clothes or make-up) are empowering. This is the type of feminism that Emma Watson subscribes to.
They are angry because they are tired of finding inequality everywhere in their daily lives. They don't want to be men. Some feminists strive more for equality amongst the genders while others focus solely on women's rights.
The drive towards improving women's rights does not necessarily mean a rejection of all things feminine, but an acceptance and appreciation of the difference between men and women.
Women, for example, are able to bear children. Some areas of feminism focus on better career support for women who have given birth.
If you are happy in these situations, then nothing. Other women want to be seen as more than only a sexual object though.
One area that seems to be overlooked about feminism a lot though, is embracing women's sexuality. Women are sexual objects too, as you well describe, but so much of our sexual culture focuses on the male gaze and ignores that women can be physically aroused by men too.
Part of previous feminism waves included wide-spread of the contraceptive pill that allowed women to take control of their fertilty and fully embrace their sexuality.
Feminists come in all shapes and sizes. As far as I know, EW is still straight.
The flack was because she had preciously criticised Beyoncé for "catering to the male gaze" and being a bad feminist because of this. As the face of the UN's "He For She" femisim campaign, many felt that her words were inappropriate and hypocritical considering her photo that showed part of her breasts (while promoting a Disney movie). Some of the themes in "Beauty and the Beast" are not feminist to many and EW has poorly tried to justify her choice in the role.
Why anger is a bad thing? It would be difficult to take feminists seriously if they were not passionate about their issue. Black women in particular often find their issues dismissed when they are labelled as "angry". If you are constantly being treated inequally, then of course you will be angry.
It's worth considering that feminism is often misrepresented in the mainstream media, making it seem that feminists get very angry over small inconsequential inequalities. The larger ideas are often ignored and also the acknowledgement that many small inequalities add up to a much larger picture and feeling of being undervalued.
Many activists for a wide range of issues can come across as a bunch of complainers to many who haven't taken time to read the key literature pieces or understand their views in context. As feminism is mostly seen as something concerning select women only, many men and women are ignorant of what it actually means and how it affects them personally.
A lot of women's successes in history have been wrongly attributed to men or ignored. Women also had a lot fewer opportunities than men, been resigned to housework and childcare, and often receiving less education and opportunities soley based on their gender.
EW has already attended Brown University and has more money than she could ever need.
Feminists are for women's rights, not against them. Many basic rights, such as voting or the ability to say "no" to unwanted sexual advances were earned by feminism. For example, it was legal until 1990 for a husband to rape his wife in the UK (and still is in many countries) as marriage was seen as an agreement to all future sexual advances. Without feminism this would still be legal and acceptable.
Transgender acceptance is very high in feminist circles. The feminists who are unhappy being women no doubt change to men. This is a very small percentage though. The majority of female feminists are quite happy being women.
Malala is a self-proclaimed feminist.
Some women believe that by being feminists it is their choice to wear make-up and dress as they please, while others disagree.
Of course, when a woman has sex with a man in a traditional sense she does it as a woman. There is nothing wrong with this in most feminist's eyes and they do not shy away from this fact.
Theresa May has said that she will not raise feminism topics with Donald Trump and that she considers just being present in the same room to be enough. As there as so few women in high positions and not all of them speak out on feminist issues, if is important that anyone in the public eye, such as EW, use their voice and influence. After the Harry Potter movies, EW in particular has a large young male and female audience.
She is an activist trying to encourage more men to embrace feminism. While a PhD would perhaps be useful, she is educating herself by egaging notable feminists like bell hooks in conversation and learning about feminism and intersectionality.
There are women who work on contruction sites, though this is not common as men tend to be stronger than women over the age of 12. There are many things that set men and women apart but it does mean they can't be equal where possible.
EW posed for Vanity Fair, a magazine read by men and women, though a strange choice to promote a children's film.
Regarding topless models in general, they promote unrealistic body images (the most beautiful women of the country with photoshop on top).
Why does it make you uncomfortable?
The problem that some feminists see with this "choice" feminism is that it ignores that choices are not made in a vacuum. The choices of one woman to sell herself as a sexual object means that other women can potentially be seen as sexual objects too, against their wishes.
The idea to automatically support other women's decisions is also sexist. Why would women automatically get a pass because of their gender but the ideas and actions of men with regards to feminism need to scrutinised? In a truly equal society the actions of everyone can be questioned.
Feminism means different things for different people and there are different branches, such as libfem and radfem. Not all of this is compatible and it does not make anyone less of a feminist if it is incompatible with someone else's.
The bad reputation of feminism is perhaps more to do with the challenging of deep rooted society ideas. No one wants to seem themselves as the bad guy and so feminism gets the blame instead.
The suffragette movement for votes for women used many tactics that would be described as terrorism in today's world, such a bombing famous landmarks.
The problem many feminists find in the "empowerment" argument is that it oftens ends up justifying the parts of society that women suffer from, such as the pressure from the beauty industry to wear make-up daily. It's ok to be a "guilty feminist" and admit that you grew up in a society in which make-up is valued and you like it, but labelling it as "empowering" just makes room for the pressure from the beauty industry to grow and produce more and more unrealistic expectations.
Saving a woman's virginity until marriage might feel empowering for her, but to other women it can feel that they status is lowered for not doing this and having "dirtied" themselves with premarital sex. If the woman is doing it out of choice instead of society pressure, but the outcome of serving the values of men who put a prize on virginity, is it really a feminist act?
The first wave of feminism focused on the liberation of women from the home and sexual liberation. If a woman knowing chooses things that are against this and with the knowledge that it is upholding the patriarchy that enforces these ideas, is this a feminist choice?
Having the ability to choose is without doubt an important aspect of feminism, but that does not mean that everything a woman might choose to do is feminist.