While I agree with much of what you said in your post I quote above, gave it a like and admire your reaction to your experience with a transwoman in Singapore, there are two other comments I'd like to make:
First of all, distinguishing between a transwoman from a "real woman" is ***extremely*** offensive to most transwomen, akin to calling a homosexual man a faggot or a black person a nigger. In a way it is worse; it is not just a derogatory terminology but in effect denies that they are entitled to regard themselves as "real" or "valid" in a fundamental human characteristic. I am far from a political correctness nazi on words, but this is a seriously hurtful way to talk about someone. Fwiiw, my strong hunch is that you did not intend it to be so.
Second, just because you could detect the difference between a trans and a cis woman on one specific occasion and for one particular woman does not carry any major implications about whether or not such there is a noticeable difference in general. It all depends on the details of the particular case...on her, on what modifications she has had, on you, on how you are interacting etc. Also, it sounds like this occurred some time ago, and the medical/surgical/hormonal technologies involved have been and are being improved greatly. There definitely are transwomen for which almost no one would ever guess, and there will be more of them in the future.
The obvious implied question is if you can't tell, why would you care?
-Ww
My apologies to whoever I may have offended. It was a very wrong choice of words, and as you kindly say, not intended.
I, in fact, have a lot of respect and, dare I say, admiration for people who have enough courage to undertake such changes, facing a society which is still so conservative and retrograde. Hats off to them. Some of them are part of my close range of (sexual as well as non sexual) friends.
I, though, do not understand the comparison you make with black people and/or homosexuals... But never mind..
I also disagree with your second point, especially the last sentence. I mean when you have sex with them. I don't kwow how much experience you have, but I have more than the one I have described, and quite recent... Again, saying this is not derogatory in any way. It is just stating what is , for me, a reality. And not saying it just because that would be considered inappropriate by some well meaning people, would be self censorship.
I realize that just writing what I wrote above will attract some comments that I discriminate between trans women and women. And that I should not even mention those words, that there are only women, trans or not. Perhaps. But my point is that we are all human beings with our differences. Mentioning differences between men and women does not mean judgment, just, again, stating the facts, and in doing so, improving better understanding between the groups.
With all due respect to you, and I mean those words, I think that, yes, there is a little bit of mild political correctness in this.. YMHO...
And for your last sentence, , of course, you are right. But my point is that in most , if not all, cases, one can tell, when it comes to sexual acts.
At then end, no disagreement, I think, here, just a slight different approach.
