Monger Personal Partner Preferences Vs. Sex Worker Personal Privacy

[dreams]

how would you know it if you had not realized your partner was trans on other occasions (unless she later revealed it to you); couldn't this have happened to you too?

Of course, you have a point here... I can't be sure... But as much as HRT is a wonderful progress in many aspects of medicine ( and also a bit worrying given its potential side effects), I believe I can recognise on touch breasts grown out of HRT ... Not based on wide experience, but not insignificant.

Anyway, to each its own, as the saying goes, and respect for all!
Best

Dreams

 

[dreams]

That's a horrifying thought

It's a pity that there is no "dislike" icon...

 

[User#8628]

Thats assuming quite a lot.

Oh yes? I don't think it's assuming a lot at all that a fucking MURDERER would have mental issues!

 

[TheScientist]

It's a pity that there is no "dislike" icon...

I realize I said something that goes against currently fashionable thinking but really it's no different to say I don't want to pay for sex with a transwoman than for others to say they only want service from a young woman, a woman dressed as a school girl, a fat woman, etc. People have preferences.

 

[TheScientist]

Oh yes? I don't think it's assuming a lot at all that a fucking MURDERER would have mental issues!

Many legal systems differentiate between premeditated murder, crimes of passion/manslaughter and those committed by the mentally ill. In the last case the person is often considered unfit for trial. That wasn't the case here.

See also https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_of_passion

 

[Wwanderer]

really it's no different to say I don't want to pay for sex with a transwoman than for others to say they only want service from a young woman, a woman dressed as a school girl, a fat woman, etc. People have preferences.

It was the extreme phrasing of that post, at least for me, that seemed objectionable. If you had said something like "I only want service from a cis woman" or "I don't want service from a trans woman", it would have come across quite differently from calling the prospect "horrifying". If someone called the possibility of having sex with, say, an older woman "horrifying", I would have found that equally objectionable.

-Ww

 

[Desktop]

This is a good dialogue & pretty politically correct but...
The fear & hesitation of men is this
We are in Asia
In South Easy Asia countries are all of the transgendered women so because they are actually a woman born a man?
Or more our fears they are gay men who get the operation to become sex workers?
If they would not have become a woman if the chance to become a sex worker would they get a sex change?
I'm throwing this out there to face reality. Getting an operation because you were born the wrong sex, you would usually try to live as woman & blend in.
I only searched a few article as I am clueless to the topic but some do state in those country many sex changes are just to make money.

 

[TheScientist]

It was the extreme phrasing of that post, at least for me, that seemed objectionable. If you had said something like "I only want service from a cis woman" or "I don't want service from a trans woman", it would have come across quite differently from calling the prospect "horrifying". If someone called the possibility of having sex with, say, an older woman "horrifying", I would have found that equally objectionable.

-Ww

But in fact people here do use equally strong language in regards to providers who don't meet some standard or another. Note also I expressed that sentiment regarding the condition I replied to, no more and no less.

Furthermore I won't adopt the manufactured PC "cis" prefix as that actually obscures rather than clarifies the subject.

 

[Wwanderer]

Many legal systems differentiate between premeditated murder, crimes of passion/manslaughter and those committed by the mentally ill. In the last case the person is often considered unfit for trial. That wasn't the case here.

See also https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_of_passion

This is a pretty misleading, bogus imo, refutation of @User#8628 's claim that the murderer in this case had "mental issues". In the US and other jurisdictions of which I am aware, someone can be declared to be unfit for trial because they are so seriously insane that they are deemed unable to understand what they have done or are unable to distinguish right from wrong even in the abstract. But it does NOT follow than anyone considered fit for trial is perfectly sane with no mental issues (psychological or emotional problems); it simply means that they are not almost totally insane.

I would have thought it too obvious to be worth stating that someone who murders a person who simply makes them angry (without threatening them physically) some sort of serious problems, at the very least with impulse control.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

Furthermore I won't adopt the manufactured PC "cis" prefix as that actually obscures rather than clarifies the subject.

Fwiiw, I am no PC nazi. Imo people should be able/allowed to be as politically incorrect as they wish. However, they need to realize that doing so will 1 - offend and/or hurt some people who hear/read their remarks, and 2 - will influence other people's opinion of them, whether or not those people are directly offended or hurt.

-Ww

 

[TheScientist]

Fwiiw, I am no PC nazi. Imo people should be able/allowed to be as politically incorrect as they wish. However, they need to realize that doing so will 1 - offend and/or hurt some people who hear/read their remarks, and 2 - will influence other people's opinion of them, whether or not those people are directly offended or hurt.

-Ww

Thing is I'm a member of a minority group that has gotten me actual death threats and there are some areas of major cities in Europe that are not safe for me. I've learned some things:

1. When you are part of a group that is less than 1% of a population you don't get to define term, especially terms describing the majority.
2. Often special words obscure more than they reveal especially with identity politics. These words get loaded up with so many different types implications that it almost becomes impossible to know the speakers actual intent.
3. English is great for construction of new words but it can't be forced into doing so be an extreme minority. See also point 1.

That's my ¥2 on the matter.

 

[MacMackerson]

1 - Women who have had any sort of cosmetic surgery (who are not "100% natural") [Mixed]
2 - Women who are in serious long-term relationships (have an SO or husband or wife) [Indifferent]
3 - Women who are lesbians or bisexual [Turn On]
4 - Women who are pregnant [Mixed]
5 - Women who are mothers [Turn Off]
6 - Women over a certain age (I have heard as low as 23) [Turn Off]
7 - Women who are politically very liberal [Turn On] or very conservative [Turn On]
8 - Women who are feminists [Turn On]
9 - Women who have or have had cancer [Turn Off]
10 - Women who have or have had STDs (in general or specific ones) [Turn Off]
11 - Women who are being coerced to do sex work [Turn Off]
12 - Women who use "hard drugs" or have ever done so [Mixed]
13 - Women who are of certain races [Turn On] or have any significant "blood"/heritage from certain races [Turn On]
14 - Ditto re certain ethnicities or nationalities [Turn On] or religions [Turn On]
15 - Women who are vegetarians [Turn Off]
16 - Women who like Star Trek better than Star Wars [Turn Off]
17 - Women who are too educated [Turn On] or not educated enough [Turn On]
18 - Women who masturbate [Turn On] (ok, that is an odd one which I only heard once and is presumably unusual)
19 - Women who dye their hair [Mixed]
20 - Women with tattoos and/or body piercings [Mixed]
21 - Women who are post-op trans [Turn Off] (the case that got all this started)

Personally, I don't blame transsexuals for advertising as women. Probably better for business and more in line with how they see themselves. On the other hand, I don't want to have sex with a transsexual.

 

[Anna Summer]

Sorry, but I wonder what's the issue with being vegetarian and why this is concidered a turn off? Anybody can explain this?

 

[TheScientist]

Sorry, but I wonder what's the issue with being vegetarian and why this is concidered a turn off? Anybody can explain this?

There are many stereotypes about (western) vegetarians:

• Preachy: they just won't shut up about their non meat eating and why you shouldn't eat meat either
• Unhealthy: something must be wrong with people who don't get any animal proteins in their diet and probably bad in bed because of the lack of energy
• Depressive: the just suck the joy out of the room
• Not tasty food: Western vegetarian dishes tend to taste like reheated cardboard mush. This is related to "depressive" above, they feel so much guilt and misery that they must re-enforce their misery with crappy food which leads to further depression and unhealthiness.

Of course counter examples are abundant but in my experience amongst westerners who refuse meat one or more of the above are always there.

 

[MikeH]

Sorry, but I wonder what's the issue with being vegetarian and why this is concidered a turn off? Anybody can explain this?

Maybe they are so hardcore vegetarian that they don't take any meat into their mouths? Or at least refuse any animal based protein loads?

I know my jokes are bad in general but an earthquake even before I send this?

 

[Anna Summer]

There are many stereotypes about (western) vegetarians:

• Preachy: they just won't shut up about their non meat eating and why you shouldn't eat meat either
• Unhealthy: something must be wrong with people who don't get any animal proteins in their diet and probably bad in bed because of the lack of energy
• Depressive: the just suck the joy out of the room
• Not tasty food: Western vegetarian dishes tend to taste like reheated cardboard mush. This is related to "depressive" above, they feel so much guilt and misery that they must re-enforce their misery with crappy food which leads to further depression and unhealthiness.

Of course counter examples are abundant but in my experience amongst westerners who refuse meat one or more of the above are always there.

I'm a vegetarian, well more a pescetarian and I can assure that I'm none of these listed above Oo. I always wonder how people come up with that seriously.
It's like with everything, omnivores can't shut up about their preferences, vegans can't shut up... Vegetarians.... And so on... It's not like only one group while I have to admit that most vegans I met where very aggressive towards turning people into their lifestyle.

 

[TheScientist]

I'm a vegetarian, well more a pescetarian and I can assure that I'm none of these listed above Oo. I always wonder how people come up with that seriously.
It's like with everything, omnivores can't shut up about their preferences, vegans can't shut up... Vegetarians.... And so on... It's not like only one group while I have to admit that most vegans I met where very aggressive towards turning people into their lifestyle.

I don't hold it against anyone personally.

 

[User#8628]

15 - Women who are vegetarians [Turn Off]

Damn! ;_; :')

 

[vondoom]

how can any client find out wether your vegetarian,or not, without you telling him/her? shouldnt be anything to worry about...

 

[User#8628]

I know these are just steriotypes but the vegetarians i know are generally in better health than people who eat lots of meat (most healthy is maybe eating meat moderately, but i choose not to, people survive on less healthy diets so whatever).

Also vegetarian food can be absolutely heavenly, also some of the "western" vegetarian food, although i am opposed to simply using a shitthon of soy meat replacements. I like it when meat in dishes is replaced by a viarity of tasty and filling vegetables, some soy ones but not in the doses you'll see at some restaurants or households.

 

[User#8628]

how can any client find out wether your vegetarian,or not, without you telling him/her? shouldnt be anything to worry about...

I know right?!

Except if its for a dinner date.

I sometimes feel bad for limiting guy's options but almost all fancier restaurants can cook a vegetarian course or have some options if you inform them beforehand, and a lot of guys enjoy the challenge of searching a nice vegetarian place. Having your options limited kinda makes the search for a restaurant more focussed.

 

[vondoom]

and at a dinner date you cant just order? usually there is always a vegetarian option available (if its really vegetarian in japan is of course a different story)...
if all else fails, order salad, since youre "keeping yourself in shape", or whatever reason...
and if youre feeling bad for limiting someone, because youre following your principles, then there is something wrong anyway...
ive been vegan and vegetarian for over 20 years (until i stopped being one) and whenever there was no vegetarian option, i just didnt eat...

 

[User#8628]

and at a dinner date you cant just order? usually there is always a vegetarian option available (if its really vegetarian in japan is of course a different story)...
if all else fails, order salad, since youre "keeping yourself in shape", or whatever reason...
and if youre feeling bad for limiting someone, because youre following your principles, then there is something wrong anyway...
ive been vegan and vegetarian for over 20 years (until i stopped being one) and whenever there was no vegetarian option, i just didnt eat...

I like to make sure upfront. Many restaurants focus on meat or fish here, and sometimes restaurants have like only on course. Its easier for the chef if their know upfront that a vegetarian is comming.
Also family restaurants like Johnathans have nothinge vegetarian except the desserts. But those are not places my clients would take me anyway.

I like to enjoy myself as well on a nice dinner date so i rather know i can order more than a salad and i've actually heard that "girls who only eat salad" or "girls that don't eat because they are scared to be fat" are turn offs, more than i have heard that about vegetarians.
Anyway, i had never someone canceling a dinner date because i confessed being a vegetarian so i'll keep doing this to assure things keep going smoothly.

 

[Wwanderer]

Sorry, but I wonder what's the issue with being vegetarian and why this is concidered a turn off? Anybody can explain this?

I don't really know for sure...just something to which I have heard guys object, but I think the stereotypes that @TheScientist listed are definitely a major part of the reason. (Fwiiw, like nearly all group stereotypes, my experience is that they apply to many members of the group but not at all to many other members of the group...which is why such stereotypes are pretty worthless as a basis for interacting with people.)

But I think there is the additional factor that some men want to so totally dominate their relationships and encounters with women that they find it a turn-off for a woman to have strong opinions of any kind; they basically want psychologically submissive and completely accommodating women as partners, long term or short. These are mostly the same guys who find strong political opinions, feminism, intellectualism, a high level of education etc in women a turn-off. Some of these guys like to do things such as order their date's meal in a restaurant with little or no consultation!

-Ww

 

[nedar]

About the only trouble I've had with vegetarian friends is that they sometimes want to eat at vegetarian restaurants and I'm always left feeling hungry afterwards (need my meat!)

Other than that, theres just some initial confusion at new places while the server goes to talk with the manager or chef to prepare a vegetarian option. At our usual lunch places, its not even an issue anymore. The server just goes "いすも？" and doesn't have to check.

In a date setting, I'd expect the same thing to happen. (Assuming that my date doesn't try to guilt trip me for eating meat)