I know I am late to this discussion, but I'll kick in my 2 cents... If that's ok...
Alice,
Your question is a reasonable one and most of the comments by the above people are accurate. What I wanted to say in addition to this, some guys are Pussies... they can't say what they want because they don't know or don't have the balls, or need their ego stroked so much it becomes too much of a laborious task for the woman (you)... I know I may get flamed for saying this, but who cares.
I'm not an expert in SB/SD realm... but have had a few experiences and I can tell you that each one has had it's learning curve. It all comes down to direct communication, as WW says..
As long as it's not rude, manipulative, or otherwise negative aspect, it should be ok and if it's not, then you have just screened the potential SD as a waste of time.
I've tried to set up SB arrangements with girls in the past (where we both enjoyed each other's company) only to be told, they don't want it, to that's creepy, or even, how dare me to insult them (even it was P4P meeting).... These were Japanese girls, so maybe I was "culturally" insensitive, but I've been living in Japan several years and coming to Japan for over 10 years..
If possible, when working these arrangements out with your potential SD, try to do it using an app in chat or some other written form... This way you have it documented and can refer to it later.
If the arrangement is agreeable to both and you want the dependability on the finances, then you request your allowance when you set the time and date - I know it may seem too business like, but most SD will understand, especially if it's not a monthly allowance.
Also, what may be happening is that some guys think they are soo good that you should be paying them... LOL, I know it sounds rather odd, but I've heard of that as well, which could be why the person wanted a lower amount, or bought you an expensive gift instead of the allowance - (that was stupid IMO) gifts are just that... gifts... cash is for day to day living and saving.... Duh...
Well, that's my 2 cents and hope it helps... I'm sure I haven't said anything you don't already know, but sometimes it's good to hear again or from another person.
Just a curiosity question... Have you ever had a client where you thought it would be good to have a SD/SB arrangement and approach that topic ? Like, I had a really good time, we should make this a regular meeting.... then discuss the details ?
Thanks and good luck... Happy New Year...
Alice,
Your question is a reasonable one and most of the comments by the above people are accurate. What I wanted to say in addition to this, some guys are Pussies... they can't say what they want because they don't know or don't have the balls, or need their ego stroked so much it becomes too much of a laborious task for the woman (you)... I know I may get flamed for saying this, but who cares.
I'm not an expert in SB/SD realm... but have had a few experiences and I can tell you that each one has had it's learning curve. It all comes down to direct communication, as WW says..
As long as it's not rude, manipulative, or otherwise negative aspect, it should be ok and if it's not, then you have just screened the potential SD as a waste of time.
I've tried to set up SB arrangements with girls in the past (where we both enjoyed each other's company) only to be told, they don't want it, to that's creepy, or even, how dare me to insult them (even it was P4P meeting).... These were Japanese girls, so maybe I was "culturally" insensitive, but I've been living in Japan several years and coming to Japan for over 10 years..
If possible, when working these arrangements out with your potential SD, try to do it using an app in chat or some other written form... This way you have it documented and can refer to it later.
If the arrangement is agreeable to both and you want the dependability on the finances, then you request your allowance when you set the time and date - I know it may seem too business like, but most SD will understand, especially if it's not a monthly allowance.
Also, what may be happening is that some guys think they are soo good that you should be paying them... LOL, I know it sounds rather odd, but I've heard of that as well, which could be why the person wanted a lower amount, or bought you an expensive gift instead of the allowance - (that was stupid IMO) gifts are just that... gifts... cash is for day to day living and saving.... Duh...
Well, that's my 2 cents and hope it helps... I'm sure I haven't said anything you don't already know, but sometimes it's good to hear again or from another person.
Just a curiosity question... Have you ever had a client where you thought it would be good to have a SD/SB arrangement and approach that topic ? Like, I had a really good time, we should make this a regular meeting.... then discuss the details ?
Thanks and good luck... Happy New Year...