Sugaring vs Escorting : what do you prefer?

Discussion in 'Sugar and Compensated Dating Arrangements' started by Frenchy, Nov 23, 2019.

  1. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    Lets bare it all!
    And not just for the men here, would be very interested in the ladies opinions especially those who do both, or switched from one to the other
     
  2. just4fun

    just4funjust4fun is a Verified Member Skeptical? Who me?

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    I prefer a GFE bottom line. Conversation means a lot to me. If there's a gun to my head.....Sugaring probably I'd choose.
     
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  3. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    I used only escorts at the beginning and nearly only SBs now , except when someone really piqued my curiosity like Simonka

    I don’t think any category in itself is actually better at sex, talk, or any combination of the two. Its still highly subjective and case-by-case... although obviously , on average , you’d rather go to an escort expecting great sex and a SB expecting a more GF type of experience.

    For me it’s simply about being able to be with someone for other things than sex without paying through the roof for « social time ». With One of them, I made clear that our dates would be paid the same whether its just 2 hours in a love hotel or a whole day at the beach or hiking somewhere or a ryokan stay. She was ok with that, maybe because I’m not such a bad travel companion and conversationalist after all, or so I like to think. Still she has the escort reflex to watch the clock more than a « pure SB » and cut it short if a normal booking is next , but I’m fine with that. Overall , even if we don’t meet that often, she’s the one I have known for the longest time.
     
    #3 Frenchy, Nov 23, 2019
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 26, 2019
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  4. just4fun

    just4funjust4fun is a Verified Member Skeptical? Who me?

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    I think with escorts.....the clock is an important issue most times. I've not made an appointment with anyone from Tag because the cost vs time constringent. I'm not the richest guy but if the time/cost works for us both then all the better. (Conversation is important to me but.....even that's starting to tire)
     
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  5. Merica

    Merica TAG Member

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    I’ve never had a Sugar Baby so I wouldn’t know what to expect. But I’ve had some escorts who are damn good at GFE!

    No judgement here at all intended to anyone, but I don’t really understand the appeal of a Sugar Baby... I guess if you are looking to hang out, date, travel together, etc then that’s a shitload of hours to pay for. But I’m perfectly happy to do all of those things alone, with guy friends, or with groups of platonic friends.

    I don’t really feel the need to pay to hang out with women I’m not banging... Especially when I could just date women and not have any kind of agreement other than “we’re dating”.

    Good escorts can command a lot of money for those hours so either you’re paying top dollar to hang out with them whether you are getting laid or not (seems way too expensive) or you’re paying to hang out with someone instead of just finding a girlfriend. Or several (non-exclusive) fuck-buddies?

    To people who are super satisfied with their SD/SB relationship, please enlighten me. What’s the appeal??
     
  6. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    In fact I agree with you. Most of the time I go out alone or with friends , and if I really want to go to a chic party with a stunner I would choose neither a SB nor an escort but a platonic lady friend who is still modelling at 40 year old and is the epithom of east-european beauty.
    A SB makes more sense if you want sex and non-sexual time with someone you truely enjoy for her personality , not just her boobs and ass, without being on the clock
     
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  7. Sudsy

    SudsySudsy is a Verified Member Forever blowing bubbles....

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    Escorting.

    Lack of complications is important to me, and sugaring carries a much higher risk of complication.
     
  8. Simonka

    SimonkaSimonka is a Verified Member Independent European Companion

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    Escorting but I love creating a human connection, skin to skin contact and body exploration. I love having an initial chitchat to build up the anticipation and warm up to each other: fast, aggressive starts are definitely not for me. That’s why I set my rates in favor of longer dates and I don’t offer 1 hour appointments.
     
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  9. just4fun

    just4funjust4fun is a Verified Member Skeptical? Who me?

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    I need more than 1-2 hours......maybe that's just me.
     
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  10. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    Well , depends for what? To cum or , to cum AND have a vague feeling that it was not only about that? If the latter then no, its not just you mon ami :)
     
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  11. steve969696

    steve969696 TAG Member

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    So I have done escort and bar girls for about 15 years in 8-10 countries so I am no stranger to that. (54 girls this year including 10-12 SB). But I started my first SB like relationship when I flew a semi-pro (met her at a pay for play bar where we spent 5 hours and two sessions together) from Brazil to London to be with me on a business trip. OMG it was the funnest week of my life.

    And what I found was, sure we’d have an hour or so of great sex daily, but I LOVED being with this hot 22 year old 24/7. Dinner, dancing, strolling in Chinatown. There is something totally intoxicating about having a 22 year old who (appears to) adore u. And so I’ve been trying to replicate ever since.

    I have discovered Seeking Arrangement principally as a way to have semi-legal paid sex in Pussy Prison USA. I’ve had 12 SB girls since June and plan 3 more this month. It is waaaay better than escorting for me. I have found that if u can weed out the pro escorts the girls are really out for a good time and will spend FOUR hours with u for the price of ONE escort hour. I love taking them to dinner or dancing and then going to the room. And for the same price as just meeting an escort in the room (except for dinner and drinks $$ obviously).

    I’ve had many great experiences but three stand out:

    1. A girl in Buenos Aires who we met up for lunch, walked the waterfront together and then had some great sex. We then saw each other a total of 21 hours (sex 5 times) including 4 hours at a sex club where I took her in doggie as she made out with another girl and with three couples watching. LOL. Try that with an escort. $1000 gift for the three days.

    2. A college girl in NYC. She’d never done SB. We went to nice dinner, a quick drink and then sex in my room. 4 hours together including her having her first ever real DATY. Just dinner itself was great she was so over the moon to go to a nice restaurant with a man (not like the boys her age 23). $400.

    3. Two Columbianas in London. I arranged 4 hours with the one for $450US and then she wanted to bring her friend cuz it was her birthday. No extra charge! (Try that with an escort!) We até Vietnamese together, danced a couple hours, drank wine from the bottle in a pedicab, and had an epic 3P session in my room.

    Don’t get me wrong finding these gems is hard work. But I have come to enjoy it waaaay more than straight up escort. Tho I will do both depending on the city.

    Hope this helps give some perspective on how SB can be awesome! And as u see u don’t pay the extra hours. They are there to have fun and happy to make a few hundred dollars as an extra.
     
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  12. Merica

    Merica TAG Member

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    Well THIS makes a whole lot of sense. My idea of a SB was someone who was more or less “on the payroll”, meaning you paid them whether you were with them or not. That sounded like it is just bound to cause problems of expectations on both sides...

    For the record, I would happily P4P and I would happily GIFT someone money or something if I wanted to and I was so inclined but I would NEVER have a relationship where consistent money is expected over time to “support her”. Fuck that shit, get a job. I’m no ones ATM.

    But what you described sounds very different. It’s basically P4P but over the course of a week and she gets paid but also gets to travel to cool places, eat in great restaurants and have nice experiences as part of the package. This I can totally get behind, as long as she’s but then expecting me to pay for her college classes or rent or done other shit like that.

    But isn’t that just a “long term escort”? I mean, being a regular builds up chemistry and I know some escorts who would have a blast traveling for a week and having fun. But I wouldn’t pay such a high cost for that, even though I could afford to. I just don’t think it makes sense.

    I’m still having a hard time understanding the difference between that an a SB/SD relationship... maybe it’s not really that defined and it is whatever the parties agree to.
     
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  13. steve969696

    steve969696 TAG Member

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    Yeah. So first of all there are two types of SDSB. The one u are thinking of is sort of the traditional one u might read about or see in a movie or something. It’s called Long Term LT. And then there is ST which can be a day or a few days.

    Seeking Arrangement (lightly) discourages ST or what is often called PPM (PAy Per Meet) as clearly it smacks of prostitution. But there are definitely two types of girls on SA. The first are pros masquerading as SBs. They want to go straight to texting on the phone often discuss price quickly and often don’t ask for photos.

    The more “regular girls” often chat quite a bit and I tend to be the one that takes it offline. They ask for pics. I had one girl who was new tell me flat out she wasn’t sure she could go with me. That 35 seems old to her (I am over 50). So I think fat bald and old looki NY would not be good to snag one of these non pros. I mean the aren’t as picky as men but slim and having hair surely helps.

    Again I like to Get fairly new girls. They don’t know the drill that well and I often explain it to them and end up suggesting price (hookers will immediately refuse and ghost u for what they feel is a lowball. But the non pros are happy with it.). But these girls do not think of themselves as escorts and u need to help them with that.

    In Nanpa (just learning) there is the term ASD. The Anti Slut Defense. Basically give a girl plausible deniability. Like get her away from her friends before u try to close the deal. Anything that helps her save face of being slutty. Same applies here.
     
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  14. steve969696

    steve969696 TAG Member

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    There are two ways I help with their Anti Slut Defense. The first is I describe a “Complete Date” that includes dinner and drinks and room time. And say that we only have a complete date if there is chemistry. And if not we part after dinner no harm no foul. Later we discuss price for a Complete Date.

    This helps her rationalize she is not an escort in two regards:

    1 She is only going to the room if there is chemistry.
    2 The gift is for the complete date not the sex.

    And then rather than an envelope in plain site with money I give her a Thank You card with a handwritten note and the money at the end. Again this helps her see it as a thank you for the evening not paying for the sex u just had.

    Clearly their are fine lines here but ur job is to help her feel good about the relationship.
     
  15. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    wow, we have an expert SD here! Thanks for your replies. Loved the Anti-Slut Defense concept :D (never thought about it in those terms). Come to think of it one thing I like in sugaring is the Anti-John Defense concept. A bit similar , but for the guy: plausible deniability that I am not just a creep paying for sex, but I also help them achieve some worthy goals and/or they like me not just for the wallet (not totally delusional though, I know the wallet is the main part of my charm :))

    If you are into frequent novelty you must really spend a lot of time on this (or you must have very strong BS detectors and processes to weed out the scammers/time-wasters/pros-trying-to-pose-as-SBs etc. quickly)

    Personnally I gave up on trying to find new ones, been disappointed too many times lately and I think SA’s overall quality is deteriorating (in Tokyo at least)
     
    #15 Frenchy, Nov 24, 2019
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2019
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  16. Merica

    Merica TAG Member

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    That makes sense. You're kind of "easing them into it". Obviously they aren't going to do it if they don't want to, but as you said they probably do want to, they just don't want to be thought of negatively by friends/society. I get it. Yeah, you definitely sound like a pro.

    Not to get too sappy here, but do you ever have love-type feelings for your SB? I'd think it might be kind of hard spending a lot of fun time with the same girl but always knowing it's ultimately just transactional. Even if she's enjoying it, in her mind this is all temporary and she'll move on and find who she really wants. For now, this is just a paid gig. While she might enjoy the client, it's still a gig. I'd think if you got feelings you'd have to seriously bury that shit and pretend it doesn't exist or break up. Otherwise it would be too hard psychologically.
     
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  17. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    @Coda87 had started a very interesting thread about this.
    https://tokyoadultguide.com/threads/how-to-handle-falling-for-your-sb.22306/
    Wonder what happened to him by the way

    its not really just with SBs, I suppose you may have same risks with a regular escort too (which would be even more catastrophic imo)
     
  18. MikeH

    MikeHMikeH is a Verified Member Presumably Male

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    Yeah, the thing she doesn't understand though is that she is not an escort, but an escort in training. :D

    The way you explain it the only difference between an escort and an SB is that the SB does longer sessions but with a lower hourly rate.
     
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  19. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    Maybe but on the flip side she gets free nice trips and dinners for her Instagram :)
     
  20. steve969696

    steve969696 TAG Member

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    Haha. So first of all I do consider myself sort of an expert now which is funny cuz my Brasileira that started it all was only a year ago September. But P4P is my second life and I spend a TON of time researching new countries and options. So I am literally on SA two hours a night separating the wheat from the chaff. So even tho short calendar time lots of clock time to get to this point.

    And u will find a thread where I came into this forum for advice (which was great by the way) about flying Thifany to London and whether to send her money for the ticket or buy it for her. It was funny cuz in the end I planned to send her money as recommended by several members (sort of a test) and then she said she’s never booked online and could I do it for her. Which I did.

    As to ur question about real feelings and attachment OMG yes. Like when Thifany and I parted ways in London I cried on the plane (she says she did too). The high was so fucking high it was like coming down from heroin.

    And then a few months later she got engaged and that was hard too. Unfortunately I had her Instagram and could torture myself by watching her and her fiancée get lovey dovey. So I was super happy for her cuz I DO care about her and also sad to watch her with another guy. Well fast forward they broke up and she’s dying to see me.

    But u can REALLY get ur heart crushed if u misjudge. I am a realist and I know someday a girl will find a bigger badder daddy. But when it hits u out of the blue it fucking hurts. So my Buenos Aires girl was so awesome and I was smitten. Flew her to London to try to recreate the Thifany experience and she literally broke up with me on arrival and proceeded to fuck other guys!

    OMG that was painful. So I drown my sorrows in a two hour duo with two Romanians (finest P6 ever!) and four other escorts and two civvies (platonic) and then the Columbianas. So I guess I got over it but man did it suck for a few days.

    So in retrospect I ask myself if the pain in London with Valentina was worth it given the ecstasy in Buenos Aires. And the answer abso-fucking-lutely!

    I am of course quite a bit more gun shy about latching on so absolutely and it’s harder to trust now cuz she was sooooo two faced it seems impossible. But I still love my SB life — only way to do P6 in the US in my opinion.

    My upcoming plan for Vegas is to see three hotties on consecutive nights and then repeat with my favorite one or two at the end of the week. I’ve been texting these girls for 4-6 weeks. We are sort of long distance BFGF which is fun in and of itself. And eyes wide open if I am active texting my three girls plus 5-8 backup girls, they are doing exactly the same in reverse! Gotta love it!
     
  21. Merica

    Merica TAG Member

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    Dude, you’re a legend. I’m not so far from Vegas so if you ever want a wingman...

    Also, I get it on falling for an SB. God I don’t think I could do it. For me I think I need to either get an escort, or be with a girl and NOT pay them so I’d know how they feel.

    But then again, a lot of women will pretend to love a guy if they are trying to lock one down to get married. So can you ever really trust them?? I’m sure it works both ways so no disrespect to the ladies...

    Just got out of a 20 year marriage. I think I’ll just stay single and fuck around from now on. Feelings/fireworks are awesome. Long term committed relationships? Overrated in my book but others have expressed happiness in them so more power to them.

    I’m totally cool with non-committed, casual FWB relationships. In fact, that’s my top preference by far.
     
  22. steve969696

    steve969696 TAG Member

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    Well if u are in the US, I would say u need to move to Seeking rather than escorts. There is no reason to get tied down to a girl. They understand it’s NSA. My latching on to Valentina was conscious and unusual. Of my eight US SBs since June I am on friendly terms with all of them. One was a straight up escort and she was lazy and I wouldn’t repeat. One asked for money a couple times and I refused but I’d probably see her again since she’s so hot. And then most are just there but not active. And I am perhaps weekly contact only with the NYC college girl — could totally fall for her. All the others I can just tap when I want.

    If u don’t want play in your hometown for fear of getting attached then pick yourself a few Vegas hotties and are arrange dates and spend a weekend. There are TONS of SA girls in Vegas.
     
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  23. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    Not a bad philosophy :D
     
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  24. Frenchy

    FrenchyFrenchy is a Verified Member Peace, Love and Camembert

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    Damn I missed that one... sounds totally like my kind of gal... give me her SA handle , will fly her to Tokyo :D
     
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  25. steve969696

    steve969696 TAG Member

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    Fucking A right. If my wife didn’t need me for her sanity (and kids of course) I would be divorced and retired and flying all over shagging on my own dime. Spending ample time in Brasil and Thailand to keep costs low.
     
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