Apps (Bumble, Pairs, Tinder) vs the Bar game and Day game

[Ken4fb]

The woman I'm now seeing came from Tinder out of all places, just like another one I have lined up. I got a couple dozen likes from women I had to ignore because I do have standards, but I had a couple of women who I'd actually want to be with, you know, with features I found cute/pretty and interesting personalities, and nothing below my (kind of) generous standards. So the girl I'm seeing now is like that, short and chubby with a sweet smile and cute mannerisms. No TLC level obesity, she's someone who takes care of herself, has self-esteem, isn't reeking of desperation... and is legitimately fun to be around and cuddle with. We're both into each other and hey, I'm a simple man. 😁

I guess it's not as easy if the level of women you're compatible with usually gets flooded with gigachad matches, pictures, requests, etcetera. But if you're unconventionally attractive like me it's not all that bad, and while I have to admit it's kind of suboptimal compared to being in the hunt IRL, the anxiety barrier to approach someone is much lower. Another thing I noticed is people who are actually attracted to you (who knew I'd find more than one specimen of this!!) waste no time with games in the app's chat feature. I didn't have to come up with an opener in both the success cases, I just commented something I was interested in from their profiles and chat flowed naturally. I respect the nampa boys here but once again all of that feels kind of pointless for me aside from the common sense advice that comes from it, as the game seemed to be decided from the start.

This is just two cents from a somewhat naive new grad, since people chose to bump this thread in answer to my post.

Is this in Japan?

 

[DragonSlayer]

Is this in Japan?

I wish

 

[Ken4fb]

I wish

Yeah, that's very important point. Each country probably has its own unique method when it comes to dating, Sugaring, or just simply to connect. Better make it clear about which location the info is for.

 

[Cashew]

Has anyone tried the app Tapple, specifically the おでかけ feature? I find it quite unique amongst dating apps since you connect via the intention of actually go out on a date you're both interested in going with the day you're meeting already laid out. Curious if anyone has some good results using this feature.

 

[WagyuManko]

The problem with apps is that psychologically, you just become another nameless photo card that they can swipe away after considering you for .1 seconds, because there is always another nameless photo card for them to look at after they swipe you away. It's just an endless supply, and there's absolutely nothing stopping them from swiping past you if they don't like that one photo at first glance.

In person, an interaction is so much richer and even if they don't end up liking you, they are still going to be exposed to so much more of you within just a couple minutes which gives you a much better chance of success - your voice, your smile, how you laugh, dress, your mannerisms - all of that can be shown in just a couple minutes, which is infinite multiples of the time they would've spent looking at your one lousy pic online before swiping you away on an app without even thinking about it. Not to mention, in person there isn't a huge stack of people right behind you for them to analyze most of the time.

Apps are probably not a bad idea to keep your options open, but I've always done best in person with confidence, a nice smile, and a simple hello. There's also a lot of talk about guys "leveling up" - I see so many guys who have genetics they could really work to their advantage and who could slay left and right if they just put some actual effort into how they look, but just don't bother (neckbeards, no haircut, sloppy fitting clothes, etc.). Then they sit in the corner of HUB or some shitty brewery with their neckbeard sulking over a shitty IPA wondering why they don't get laid. Clean up, level up, get some clothes that fit and some nice shoes, hold your head up high, and work what you have. Bald? Buzz it (or shave it if you can pull off the Vin Diesel look). Beard? Keep it short and neat. Tragic jawline? Cut a crisp cheek line angle into your beard and raise the neckline. Unibrow? Pluck it. Shaggy hair? Get a haircut. Overweight? Eat a bit less, move a bit more. Boxy tee shirt with shoulder seams hanging off your shoulders? Get a slim/athletic fit collared shirt in the right size. Yeah, this is all appearance stuff, shallow blah blah but the better you look the better you feel about yourself. Remember - women can tell exactly how your life is going in about two seconds.

It's about confidence and working what you have more than anything, IME.