Dating Apps: A Guide

[Secretmugen]

The English option as you put it means free English practice to a lot of women. It can work in your favour.

I can concur; last time I was in Tokyo, at least two women asked to practice English with me. The funniest part is that the first one was a worker at a girl's bar...and it felt like a gyaku-nampa situation since she was super into it and kept asking me questions about how to flirt in English lmao.

 

[Barabbas]

Okay so, I've mostly got the basics of "general" picking up but here's the deal, I'm mostly into nerdy girls (glasses, timid, not really popular) and I feel like I won't find those at either clubs, bars or concerts like you mentioned. There was a guy who told me to just frequent libraries and while studying Japanese (which makes sense since I'm a Japanese language student) I could try to sit down next to a girl I fancy. Now... I have no idea if that's a good idea or not which is why I'm asking here. See plenty of nerdy dudes in Akihabara with their equally nerdy girlfriends so it has to be possible, right?

Im saying this with love and brotherly good intentions.

You are experiencing paralysis by analysis. For every boost people give you, you offer excuses. You also snicker and judge nanpashi so you subconsciously fear becoming something you deem cringe or awkward.
The "b-b-b-but xy". Nah man.
Listen.
Grab your balls and go for it. Pick a girl and go for it. And keep doing it.
No matter what you want nanpa is a great thing because unlike apps, if you have her attention you have it, its not split.
Also you can much easier get a feel for the vibe you two have. Picture is nothing compared to irl communication.

Tokyo is infinite source of beautiful women of every type. And the only thing between you and them is your excuses. Nothing else. Not much even your Japanese that you are improving daily from what I gather, not your looks, not your height, not your whatever the fuck.

The only thing that is 100% preventing you is you coming up with excuses.

Some venues are easier some less so. I dont really recommend "spam nanpa" where you dont even put effort into it but it can be fun if lots of bros are doing it and you enjoy each others vibes and shit talk. Sometimes it elevates one's mood so you become attractive in that way.

I think opening girls randomly has higher success rate in comparison to nanpa places. But nanpa places have ease of access.

tldr just talk to girls. Give yourself a number of approaches per day and try to hit it, or just total of lets say 1000 and keep pushing.

You are not some special mofo that is immune to getting laid man. Just get out.

 

[Husniye]

Im saying this with love and brotherly good intentions.

You are experiencing paralysis by analysis. For every boost people give you, you offer excuses. You also snicker and judge nanpashi so you subconsciously fear becoming something you deem cringe or awkward.
The "b-b-b-but xy". Nah man.
Listen.
Grab your balls and go for it. Pick a girl and go for it. And keep doing it.
No matter what you want nanpa is a great thing because unlike apps, if you have her attention you have it, its not split.
Also you can much easier get a feel for the vibe you two have. Picture is nothing compared to irl communication.

Tokyo is infinite source of beautiful women of every type. And the only thing between you and them is your excuses. Nothing else. Not much even your Japanese that you are improving daily from what I gather, not your looks, not your height, not your whatever the fuck.

The only thing that is 100% preventing you is you coming up with excuses.

Some venues are easier some less so. I dont really recommend "spam nanpa" where you dont even put effort into it but it can be fun if lots of bros are doing it and you enjoy each others vibes and shit talk. Sometimes it elevates one's mood so you become attractive in that way.

I think opening girls randomly has higher success rate in comparison to nanpa places. But nanpa places have ease of access.

tldr just talk to girls. Give yourself a number of approaches per day and try to hit it, or just total of lets say 1000 and keep pushing.

You are not some special mofo that is immune to getting laid man. Just get out.

Damn, I have to appreciate the pep talk, it's always people like you that get me back on my feet. Still I don't think I'm going to go far with a girl that I don't share common interests with and while most people can deal with that, I don't think I can, I'm looking for one that can be my friend AND my girlfriend, which is why I mentioned the quiet, nerdy girls. If you were able to point me in the right direction to find those, I would put everything I learned here to good use, that's for sure.

 

[Barabbas]

Damn, I have to appreciate the pep talk, it's always people like you that get me back on my feet. Still I don't think I'm going to go far with a girl that I don't share common interests with and while most people can deal with that, I don't think I can, I'm looking for one that can be my friend AND my girlfriend, which is why I mentioned the quiet, nerdy girls. If you were able to point me in the right direction to find those, I would put everything I learned here to good use, that's for sure.

I would suggest approaching girls who seem like the type you want and exploring/getting to know them. More and more girls know decent English and like Rumi said "its not people who speak same language that understand each other, but those who share same feeling".
So meet a lot of girls and genuinely explore who they are.
Of course, you dont need to like slutty/vip appearing girls, but if you could read minds you would be surprised that exterior doesn't always match the interior.
In general though, if you are a nerdy dude just do your nerdy stuff and observe girls who are around during your nerdy quiet activities and go for them
; )
Hard to imagine you cannot see one per day that makes you curious.

 

[Husniye]

I would suggest approaching girls who seem like the type you want and exploring/getting to know them. More and more girls know decent English and like Rumi said "its not people who speak same language that understand each other, but those who share same feeling".
So meet a lot of girls and genuinely explore who they are.
Of course, you dont need to like slutty/vip appearing girls, but if you could read minds you would be surprised that exterior doesn't always match the interior.
In general though, if you are a nerdy dude just do your nerdy stuff and observe girls who are around during your nerdy quiet activities and go for them
; )
Hard to imagine you cannot see one per day that makes you curious.

You're right, I've been trying to pursue my Gunpla hobbie more often these days so who knows, might find a girl who's into building robots just as I am, I think paying attention to the ones around me is definitely a good idea, thanks for the support, I appreciate it!

 

[Tabanico]

So... on the topic of dating apps. I don't really use them, but I do have Tinder installed, and for the past few days I have been swiping out of boredom. About half of the profiles are images of chinese women with random names like xyhklg etc. About a quarter are just photos of food. And then a quarter are photos of I assume Japanese women.

But today I logged on and just got a message that said 'your account has been banned from Tinder' and then maybe something about breaching their Terms of Use.

But then I hit back on my phone and it just went to the default Tinder page. I checked my profile and nothing had changed. I can still see profiles and swipe. But the app acts as if it is a new account (giving me tutorials on how to swipe etc. sending me push notifications as if I am a new user etc.).

Is this just an error or am I truly not going to be able to match with 50-year-olds who have 3 pages of criteria for matching?

 

[Husniye]

So... on the topic of dating apps. I don't really use them, but I do have Tinder installed, and for the past few days I have been swiping out of boredom. About half of the profiles are images of chinese women with random names like xyhklg etc. About a quarter are just photos of food. And then a quarter are photos of I assume Japanese women.

But today I logged on and just got a message that said 'your account has been banned from Tinder' and then maybe something about breaching their Terms of Use.

But then I hit back on my phone and it just went to the default Tinder page. I checked my profile and nothing had changed. I can still see profiles and swipe. But the app acts as if it is a new account (giving me tutorials on how to swipe etc. sending me push notifications as if I am a new user etc.).

Is this just an error or am I truly not going to be able to match with 50-year-olds who have 3 pages of criteria for matching?

You were obviously too strong, they had to ban you (or at least try to) before you started claiming the whole of Japan's bot population.