Finding Sex Friends

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msaber

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I have a question about how to find sex friend / friends with benefits in Japan. I couldn't find any topic in this website.

If there is any topic, please let me know the URL.

Thanks guys.
 
I have a question from ladies in this website.


When you are looking for a sex friend (without financial expectations), what is important for you, how do you select men to be your sex friend (face, muscle, big male organ, nationality, skin color, height, his message, ...). In sex friend websites, the number of men are much higher than the number of women, and it is not so that easy to attract a lady. Especially for guys who are not very handsome, without big muscles, and non-American and non-European. I am from middle east and I found that nationality is very important for some ladies and they don't like people from the middle east.

If ladies can give me some tricks to seduce a sexy lady, I will really appreciate it.


I am asking this question because it is difficult for me to find a sex friend especially Japanese or western. On "adultfriendfinder" website, I met a Japanese woman. But she didn't continue. She told me, "I found a boyfriend". I don't if it was real or just an excuse. On"ashleymadison", I found a friend from Cina, but she left Japan and I am looking for a new friend.

In both websites, some Japanese women replied me "I am looking for serious relationship". Even in sex website they are looking for a boyfriend.


It seems that Japanese women prefer relationship (not only sex). And if it is only about sex, they expect to receive financial support like sugar daddy/sugar baby. About western women, I didn't have any chance to meet. I just found that they don't like to meet middle eastern people.


I am student and I cannot afford to be a sugar daddy.


What is your recommendation: how/where to find a sex friend?


Thank you for your patience to read my post.
 
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msaber said:
I have a question from ladies in this website.


When you are looking for a sex friend (without financial expectations), what is important for you, how do you select men to be your sex friend (face, muscle, big male organ, nationality, skin color, height, his message, ...). In sex friend websites, the number of men are much higher than the number of women, and it is not so that easy to attract a lady. Especially for guys who are not very handsome, without big muscles, and non-American and non-European. I am from middle east and I found that nationality is very important for some ladies and they don't like people from the middle east.

If ladies can give me some tricks to seduce a sexy lady, I will really appreciate it.


I am asking this question because it is difficult for me to find a sex friend especially Japanese or western. On "adultfriendfinder" website, I met a Japanese woman. But she didn't continue. She told me, "I found a boyfriend". I don't if it was real or just an excuse. On"ashleymadison", I found a friend from Cina, but she left Japan and I am looking for a new friend.

In both websites, some Japanese women replied me "I am looking for serious relationship". Even in sex website they are looking for a boyfriend.


It seems that Japanese women prefer relationship (not only sex). And if it is only about sex, they expect to receive financial support like sugar daddy/sugar baby. About western women, I didn't have any chance to meet. I just found that they don't like to meet middle eastern people.


I am student and I cannot afford to be a sugar daddy.


What is your recommendation: how/where to find a sex friend?


Thank you for your patience to read my post.
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this mirrors my experience too.. If I date someone its either no interest or lets be bf/gf :(
 
Isn't it logical that a girl wants to gain something from sex as well?
Either a steady relationship, money, a smoking hot guy...

If you don't have any of this to offer there is only hoping you can find someone who's exact type you are, or settling for a girl who's usually seen as unattractive.

Also try to improve your own looks by working out a lot and having a good haircut.
 
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User#8628 said:
Isn't it logical that a girl wants to gain something from sex as well?
Either a steady relationship, money, a smoking hot guy...
Click to expand...

The asymmetry and illogic comes when a guy who offers none of these things feels that women who offers one of these things (usually hotness, sexual attractiveness) should want to be his partner. Put differently, a guy who isn't hot should NOT expect to have casual sex for free with hot women; rather he should expect to have free and casual sex with women who are, like him, not very attractive.

To @User#8628 's list of what a woman (or man) might want from a sexual relationship, I would add a the company of someone with a charming and fun personaility.

-Ww
 
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Wwanderer said:
Put differently, a guy who isn't hot should NOT expect to have casual sex for free with hot women
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I would add, "unless he has something else to offer, such as a scintillating wit or killer sense of humour."
 
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User#8628 said:
Isn't it logical that a girl wants to gain something from sex as well?
Either a steady relationship, money, a smoking hot guy...
Click to expand...

The problem, and also why the MGTOW and shoshoku-kei movements are growing among men, is women not giving equal in the exchange. That is women that are expecting or wanting only the advantage.

Sex is often turned into a weapon, versus mutual satisfaction or turned into undisclosed prostitution. Prostitution can be acceptable to some men, when sex for money is openly discussed and agreed upon. It is unacceptable for many guys, when they aren't getting equal value or satisfaction in return.

A steady relationship still means equal satisfaction. If she wants money, then what is she bringing to the table besides vagina? If she wants a smoking hot guy, then is she a smoking hot woman or is she lesser than and trying to hook a guy with vagina or trap him in a pregnancy?

And a lot of women end up getting hurt, because they try to scam or cheat guys, and instead end up the loser in the deal, in the long run. Then they try to take it out on the next guy, with an even longer list of expectations or tricks, and many fail again. And this not only applies to women, but men too. What are you bringing to the table that's of equal value?
 
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e-smile said:
people tend to forget the word "friend" in the "sex friend" concept.
you can't have a sex friend if you don't have friends from the opposite sex (or the same if you want that kind of sex friend).
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Actually, many women don't see their boyfriend or sex-friend as a "friend". I've talked to many women about this, and find this interesting. It's often more about her considering him special, popular, or like an investment that might pay off later (like a replacement or plan B boyfriend).

So I think the concept of "friend" has to be something mutually agreed on.
 
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It seems to me that women place little / no value on physical intimacy (outside of a traditional relationship) and almost see it as meaningless
 
Sudsy said:
I would add, "unless he has something else to offer, such as a scintillating wit or killer sense of humour."
Click to expand...

Completely agree...and that is basically what I meant where I wrote "To @User#8628 's list of what a woman (or man) might want from a sexual relationship, I would add the company of someone with a charming and fun personality."

-Ww
 
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Let me just note in passing that, as usual, @Solong's generalities about women (and I know that he will agree that there are exceptions too) bears little or no resemblance to my experiences with them. If I had to generalize, I'd say close to the opposite. We have stumbled across this difference in perceptions before and have reached no agreement on its cause. So, just noting it, not intending to go down that path again.

-Ww
 
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danthrope said:
It seems to me that women place little / no value on physical intimacy (outside of a traditional relationship) and almost see it as meaningless
Click to expand...

This seems backwards to me. If they thought of physical intimacy as "meaningless", sort of like passing the salt or giving you the time of day or smiling at someone, they'd be doing it willy nilly with the slightest motivation. It is precisely because they place so much value on it that they are not as casual and "easy" about it as many men would prefer.

-Ww
 
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Solong said:
Actually, many women don't see their boyfriend or sex-friend as a "friend". I've talked to many women about this, and find this interesting. It's often more about her considering him special, popular, or like an investment that might pay off later (like a replacement or plan B boyfriend).

So I think the concept of "friend" has to be something mutually agreed on.
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I get that but I meant you have to be "friends" at first or acquaintance, depending on how people define the word friend. I stick to the basic definition of people you tend to spend time with without being forced to.
I think it's not common for a lonely person with no friends to miraculously find a sex friend.
 
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first you get the money
then you get the power
then you get the women

:)

then you get the..japanese credit card?
 
Sudsy said:
I would add, "unless he has something else to offer, such as a scintillating wit or killer sense of humour."
Click to expand...
If they like each other, all fine.
People have different taste of liking for both looks and character.

But if nobody is into you, then revaluate yourself.
You think women owe you a sexfriendship but you dont owe the women who were interested in you as a BF a relationship?
The more pushy and arelaxed a guy is, the less attractive it makes him.
 
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is
User#8628 said:
If they like each other, all fine.
People have different taste of liking for both looks and character.

But if nobody is into you, then revaluate yourself.
You think women owe you a sexfriendship but you dont owe the women who were interested in you as a BF a relationship?
The more pushy and arelaxed a guy is, the less attractive it makes him.
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is this comment aimed at someone in particular?
 
danthrope said:
is

is this comment aimed at someone in particular?
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OP and anyone who's not down for relationships but complains that women are not down for casual sex.

Its fine to look for something but realize that other people may have different goals and accept it.

Its maybe hard to find women who look for casual relationships but for other women its a stuggle to find love becausr they keep getting played. I noticed many single guys actually like the thought of a serious relationship but don't go after it even though its not hard to get.. Maybe the old "dont put your dick in crazy" saying.


But its the same thing, if you think women who are desperately looking for a relationship are crazy, women will also think men who desperately chase loose sex are crazy and people to stay away from.
 
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User#8628 said:
OP and anyone who's not down for relationships but complains that women are not down for casual sex.

Its fine to look for something but realize that other people may have different goals and accept it.

Its maybe hard to find women who look for casual relationships but for other women its a stuggle to find love becausr they keep getting played. I noticed many single guys actually like the thought of a serious relationship but don't go after it even though its not hard to get.. Maybe the old "dont put your dick in crazy" saying.


But its the same thing, if you think women who are desperately looking for a relationship are crazy, women will also think men who desperately chase loose sex are crazy and people to stay away from.
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for someone who has FWBs you seem very.. Anti FWB?
 
danthrope said:
for someone who has FWBs you seem very.. Anti FWB?
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Cognitive dissonance or delusional?

I have talked to many women that said publicly or initially that they wanted one thing, to find out they did or wanted the exact opposite. Often such women simply wanted to disguise their behavior, no accountability for their actions, or plausible deniability about what they do. NOT saying all women are like that, but do think many women have trouble with embracing the nature of their sexuality, either publicly or to themselves.
 
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danthrope said:
for someone who has FWBs you seem very.. Anti FWB?
Click to expand...
Solong said:
Cognitive dissonance or delusional?

I have talked to many women that said publicly or initially that they wanted one thing, to find out they did or wanted the exact opposite. Often such women simply wanted to disguise their behavior, no accountability for their actions, or plausible deniability about what they do. NOT saying all women are like that, but do think many women have trouble with embracing the nature of their sexuality, either publicly or to themselves.
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I personally have nice friends who do a lot more than just sex with me (more nintendo games than sex).

I just like to stand up for other women who are not looking for pushy FWB.
You guys mention keeping running into women who want something serious, so clearly a lot of women are the way i mention.
I said a lot, not all.
 
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