Recommendations On How To Meet Foreign Women

[roots reggae]

My apartment.

-Ww

And you foolish readers actually believe he's joking!

 

[e-smile]

no what I was saying is that society instills racist tropes of who you're supposed to find attractive and loves to whitewash everything. This is ingrained in a lot of peoples subconscious leading to example people saying they don't find so and so race attractive because society and media has brainwashed them to find certain races more attractive than others etc.

I've noticed what you're talking about, but at least they beat red head men ...

In Japan the uncool image is bore by Indian guys, they really seem to be underrated in Japan.

 

[e-smile]

That pretty much sums up my experiences with Japanese women so far. My first exposure to dirty films as a teenager (I'm 36 so that was before the internet) was through 70's Nikkatsu roman porno that a nearby cinema was showing in my hometown so in a way I've been conditioned to find Japanese women attractive but in recent years I've come to realize the cultural gap is probably too wide for any kind of semi-serious relationship.

I'm 35 so about your age.
At first I was very interested in Japanese women, then I started to think that most of them are boring and not sexy enough then recently I've found out the kind of Japanese women that suits me : the unconventional ones.

 

[e-smile]

I know plenty of gaijin guys who got burned just as badly if not worse than me, and I also know plenty of other guys trapped in loveless, sexless marriages in which their wives take all the money and only leave them the bare minimum. At my workplace, when I get 手当 in addition to my normal salary, it's always in cash, even when it's something like 200,000 yens, amounts that I feel uncomfortable carrying with me. My boss explained to me that it's pretty common in Japanese companies and the reason they do it is that it's the only way a man who is married can dispose of his own money without his wife knowing it, so it seems those attitudes towards the roles of man and woman are pretty deeply ingrained. Time and time again I've met Japanese women whose sole ambition in life is to get married, stop working and let their husband support them. Well thanks but no thanks.

they can only blame themselves for letting their wives control their budget.
when my wife said that's what they do in Japan I just laughed and said no way it will happen to me. if you don't draw the limits others will just step on you.
also when we spoke about sexless couples I just said I would divorce and be her friend and available for what ever she needs me.

 

[Wwanderer]

the kind of Japanese women that suits me : the unconventional ones.

Same for me...except that you could omit the word "Japanese". In general I most enjoy the company of unconventional people and, very fortunately, unconventional people seem to enjoy my company much more than typical people.

So much of what one sees and reads about relating to other people is explicitly or implicitly aimed at conventional people, at most people. Imo this is often a mistake, especially if you aspire to lead an extraordinary life. In that case you are going to want extraordinary companions in your "journey".

-Ww

 

[e-smile]

Same for me...except that you could omit the word "Japanese". In general I most enjoy the company of unconventional people and, very fortunately, unconventional people seem to enjoy my company much more than typical people.

So much of what one sees and reads about relating to other people is explicitly or implicitly aimed at conventional people, at most people. Imo this is often a mistake, especially if you aspire to lead an extraordinary life. In that case you are going to want extraordinary companions in your "journey".

-Ww

that's pretty true for me too and not only girls, my best friends even in my home country are unconventional people.
the only difference is that I find conventional people in Japan a lot more boring than the ones in other countries. maybe that's because Japanese people tend to be too much conventional haha.

 

[Frenchy]

they can only blame themselves for letting their wives control their budget.
when my wife said that's what they do in Japan I just laughed and said no way it will happen to me. if you don't draw the limits others will just step on you.
also when we spoke about sexless couples I just said I would divorce and be her friend and available for what ever she needs me.

That's basically what I told mine too... And now we divorce. She then had the nerves to write that SHE wanted sex and I was the one refusing it! In Japan , refusing sex to your spouse can be a cause for divorce with "Isharyio" (compensation for bad behavior , sorry I don't know the exact term). So technically if she admitted her repeated refusals, she would be at fault. Unfortunately it's hard to prove either way.

 

[Des Esseintes]

that's pretty true for me too and not only girls, my best friends even in my home country are unconventional people.
the only difference is that I find conventional people in Japan a lot more boring than the ones in other countries. maybe that's because Japanese people tend to be too much conventional haha.

People who are raised to spend their life working and sacrifice all their private life for their company rarely turn up to be interesting individuals. Sadly that's the case with the vast majority of the people here. I find it somewhat depressing that any time your tastes stray ever so slightly from the mainstream you're immediately labeled maniakku, or that people laugh so hard at the slightest touch of sarcasm like you've just said the most outrageous thing they could possibly conceive.

99% of the Japanese women I've met were entirely devoid of personality and perfectly boring. Probably I'm not looking hard enough but I think the deck is stacked against me.

The idea that even if I do find someone I like I would have to marry them is also very depressing to me.

 

[majimekun]

...
99% of the Japanese women I've met were entirely devoid of personality and perfectly boring. Probably I'm not looking hard enough but I think the deck is stacked against me.

Maybe you only chose the ones who speak English? (they are the most boring)

Anyway, the Japanese girls are great under one condition : you never ever marry them.

Western woman!? Thanks but no thanks

 

[Des Esseintes]

Maybe you only chose the ones who speak English? (they are the most boring)

Actually it's quite the opposite. I've only met non-English speakers, with a small minority who could speak French (my native language). Most of them had no real interest in learning foreign languages.

Anyway, the Japanese girls are great under one condition : you never ever marry them.

I think that's true of any woman.

 

[Frenchy]

People who are raised to spend their life working and sacrifice all their private life for their company rarely turn up to be interesting individuals. Sadly that's the case with the vast majority of the people here. I find it somewhat depressing that any time your tastes stray ever so slightly from the mainstream you're immediately labeled maniakku, or that people laugh so hard at the slightest touch of sarcasm like you've just said the most outrageous thing they could possibly conceive.

99% of the Japanese women I've met were entirely devoid of personality and perfectly boring. Probably I'm not looking hard enough but I think the deck is stacked against me.

Well yes, but Japanese have their fair share of weirdos too, even among boring salarymen you would be surprised how many can have interesting hobbies or passions, and unusual stories sometimes. It's just so damn hard to break the ice here, so we assume they all have those dull, boring, stereotyped personalities.
By the way, Mr Des Esseintes, I suppose you are a fan of A Rebours. Well in this excellent book the hero at some point is so bored (and rich) he buys a living tortoise and has precious gems or crystals inserted into its shell. I saw the exact same thing once on Daiba beach and the tortoise owner was a very plain, "normal" looking Japanese lady.

 

[e-smile]

That's basically what I told mine too... And now we divorce. She then had the nerves to write that SHE wanted sex and I was the one refusing it! In Japan , refusing sex to your spouse can be a cause for divorce with "Isharyio" (compensation for bad behavior , sorry I don't know the exact term). So technically if she admitted her repeated refusals, she would be at fault. Unfortunately it's hard to prove either way.

wow I didn't know about that law.
good thing it's hard to prove because I don't think it's fair. one shouldn't be forced to have sex, if she or he doesn't want the couple should just separate and move on.

 

[Frenchy]

wow I didn't know about that law.
good thing it's hard to prove because I don't think it's fair. one shouldn't be forced to have sex, if she or he doesn't want the couple should just separate and move on.

To be true it's not specifically written "refusing sex to spouse" , the real expression (I quote a lawyers website) is "When there is any other grave cause making it difficult to continue the marriage", and refusing sex could apparently be considered as one of those "grave causes", but there is a fair amount of margin for interpretation depending on cases, courts etc.

 

[majimekun]

Actually it's quite the opposite. I've only met non-English speakers, with a small minority who could speak French (my native language)..

If I remember well, in a different thread you said that you're looking for a girl who can discuss anything from politics to philosophy. I had lots of Japanese girlfriends and several of them had this ability. All of them didn't speak English either.
So, it's far from being impossible in my opinion.
Maybe it's just me but all the oldest women I dated were boring as hell.
The youngest ones (from 19 to 35) always had interesting things to say.
That being said, you have to offer them the opportunity to show their intellectual side in the first place.
If you're not pedantic, you're witty and you manage to make difficult topics entertaining enough, there is no reason you couldn't enjoy almost any Japanese girl.

The French have the habit of being judgemental, overly pedantic and unnecessarily gloomy.
I know I'm French too ... but I've adapted a lot to the Japanese mindset.
I know nothing about you but maybe you have difficulties to lose your Frenchitude which makes you feel that gap between you and the Japanese girls.

 

[Frenchy]

If I remember well, in a different thread you said that you're looking for a girl who can discuss anything from politics to philosophy. I had lots of Japanese girlfriends and several of them had this ability. All of them didn't speak English either.
So, it's far from being impossible in my opinion.
Maybe it's just me but all the oldest women I dated were boring as hell.
The youngest ones (from 19 to 35) always had interesting things to say.
That being said, you have to offer them the opportunity to show their intellectual side in the first place.
If you're not pedantic, you're witty and you manage to make difficult topics entertaining enough, there is no reason you couldn't enjoy almost any Japanese girl.

The French have the habit of being judgemental, overly pedantic and unnecessarily gloomy.
I know I'm French too ... but I've adapted a lot to the Japanese mindset.
I know nothing about you but maybe you have difficulties to lose your Frenchitude which makes you feel that gap between you and the Japanese girls.

Oh oui! Je suis d'accord! We are judgemental, pedantic , and gloomy . Also , we rarely take shower , we are cheese-eating surrender monkeys and (not to be forgotten) effeminate and totally promiscuous.
Having said that I wouldn't change my citizenship for any other! Vive La France! Vive la Tour Eiffel! Vive le Fromage!

 

[Wwanderer]

You (French and other) guys might want to give this little "trick" a try: Do not choose, categorize or think about the women in your life in terms of their nationalities.

You may be surprised at what a difference it can make.

-Ww

 

[majimekun]

You (French and other) guys might want to give this little trick a try: Do not choose, categorize or think about the women in your life in terms of their nationalities.

Nothing to do with nationality but I find non asian girls ugly and I can't do anything about it.

I think that my DNA is the culprit. I'm pretty sure it wants to mix my genes with asian girls.

 

[Wwanderer]

I find non asian girls ugly

All of them? Seriously?

But in any case, there are lots of asian women with non-asian nationalities, i.e., born, raised and living their lives in a non-asian country. Are you equally into them?

-Ww

 

[Frenchy]

Yes, wise words Wwanderer

You (French and other) guys might want to give this little "trick" a try: Do not choose, categorize or think about the women in your life in terms of their nationalities.

You may be surprised at what a difference it can make.

-Ww

es

 

[majimekun]

All of them? Seriously?

99% of them.
Seriously.

But in any case, there are lots of asian women with non-asian nationalities, i.e., born, raised and living their lives in a non-asian country. Are you equally into them?

-Ww

Of course, .... but as long as they speak only Japanese with me.
I find the French and English languages highly unsexy.

 

[Frenchy]

Good on you.
But in my case I'm really impatient to get rid of it.
Not very proud of coming from a country of total retards all surrended to muslims.

... Said the guy who criticized another for being "judgmental, pedantic and gloomy"

 

[majimekun]

... Said the guy who criticized another for being "judgmental, pedantic and gloomy"

I didn't criticize someone in particular.
I said that French are like that most of the time.
And since I'm French .... I couldn't help

 

[Frenchy]

I didn't criticize someone in particular.
I said that French are like that most of the time.
And since I'm French .... I couldn't help

Yep. And i couldnt help to report your post. Cause I'm also an horrible "delateur". Bonne nuit!

 

[Wwanderer]

I find the French and English languages highly unsexy.

Whoa! To my ears no language is sexier than French (which I don't speak btw). Imo even a dude reading a math text aloud can sound sexy if it is in French. WALDT indeed!

-Ww

 

[majimekun]

Whoa! To my ears no language is sexier than French (which I don't speak btw). Imo even a dude reading a math text aloud can sound sexy if it is in French. WALDT indeed!

-Ww

It's because you only like the sound of it.
You would change your mind if you knew what's being said.
Too many instances of "merde" and "putain".
French are vulgar people.