Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[Frenchy]

As told by the kids…

 

[resiman]

Dad Q. What is the profession that gets you the most boobs?

Me A. I dont know, doctor.

Dad A. Adjuster.

Me. Whut???

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.
.
.
.

So its a spanglish joke, instead of brassieres, in spanish we use ajustadores, which also translates to adjusters.

 

[ThaWeeknd]

What do you call a flat-chested emo chick?

A cutting board.

OMG🤣🤣😩. I laughed too hard at this.

 

[IchigoDave]

What do you call a gender neutral person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.

 

[Alice]

What do you call a gender neutral person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.

How does a non binary samurai kill their opponents?

They / them (read out loud)

 

[impish]

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warmed it'd be Justwater

 

[AMcguyver]

Where do you buy a non-binary pizza?

little xe/xyrs

 

[AMcguyver]

Why did the nonbinary prospector move west?

Because there was gold in them/their hills

 

[SquidCity]

What’s the difference between a clean hot spring and a polluted one?

ん

 

[IchigoDave]

What do you call a truckload of dildos being donated to charity?

Toys for twats.

 

[IchigoDave]

It is a five minute walk from my house to the bar. It is a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.


The difference is staggering.

 

[Sudsy]

I just had a new experience today… a paraplegic strip bar.

The place was crawling with pussy.

 

[impish]

This man had sex with his dad in the elevator. It was wrong on so many levels...

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[Cinnabums]

 

[IchigoDave]

What did the fisherman say to the card dealer?

Pick a cod. Any cod.

 

[impish]

What part of the body dies last?
The eyes. They dilate.

 

[SquidCity]

What's the opposite of Tokyo University?
Yester University

 

[MikeH]

What's the opposite of Tokyo University?
Yester University

Shouldn't that be Yeski University for bilinguals?

 

[AMcguyver]

Went to furniture store yesterday. The salesman told me “this sofa will seat 5 people without any problems”

I said “where am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

 

[SquidCity]

Shouldn't that be Yeski University for bilinguals?

We're gonna go there Some University

 

[impish]

I was walking home the other night, and on the sidewalk I saw, a strawberry short cake, an apple cobbler, and a bowl of pudding.

I thought to myself, that the streets were strangely dessert-ed tonight.

 

[SquidCity]

Which US city has the cleanest people?
入浴

 

[IchigoDave]