OP are you still with us? If yes you will have figured out by now that this community is made up of mostly weirdos (counting myself here!) who manage to have an amazing time in the land of the rising sun - welcome to Japan!
Yes, I'm still with you guys! I'm surprised how hard this thread blew up lmao. Thanks for the welcome!
your awkwardness and creepiness, pit-stained manga t-shirts in the disgusting August heat, fanny pack, knee-high socks, velcro shoes and pocket Kama Sutra book on sexual positions that you read on the train while looking desperately at the high school girls sitting across you in the car.
I guess I'll put my pocket Kama Sutra away then
Real talk, one of the big reasons for my situation is believing in that kind of Black Pilled bull for too long (not good enough, not tall enough, not attractive enough, etc.). There were chances to ask women out, but I never asked cause I simply
knew they'd say no. Only more recently, I've been trying to get out of it.
6 years of self-studied Japanese is no small feat, and it also sounds like you are making this trip specifically to break through any social anxiety you may have at home and which has been holding you back. I really think that’s brave and admirable.
Now for the drinking and P4P - this will not fix any issues you may think you have. Making friends here and trying to strike up a real relationship with people is going to change everything. My advice is to find a hobby here, join a club of like-minded people, go out to concerts, enroll in a language school etc and you’ll become a new person.
Thank you for your comment. I 100% agree that drinking and P4P won't fix any issues. I made that same mistake already when I lost the weight thinking that it'd be the fix I need.
If I end up moving to Japan, I'll give your advice a try! It makes sense though, make new connections, make real relationships, meet new people. I kinda realized that same thing, earlier this year.
Since the beginning of March, I completely stopped playing video games cold turkey and instead been doing tennis, dancing, rock climbing, and fitness stuff. Maybe, I'll make new friends. Maybe, nothing will change. At least I meet new people this way.
Apply common sense with everything , you can totally start drinking in Japan, but do not get wasted on the first day and start gradually. You can totally get approached in party settings but because this is Japan just dont expect it, as it is kind of tricky. Also, i find it more interesting to see the "reaction" thing more as a "how i am going to react to them" instead. You will have some fun situations and some confusing ones too.
For the P4P, starting with an indie is the best possible way. For example if you book Manami, you can speak a little bit in japanese with her to try and practice, but also change to english when things require perfect communication during the session, also, it will be nice as a first peek into the love hotel experience i guess.
The best possible way of coming is by having your cup empty of expectations of any type, bad or good ones, and filled with humility, and start exploring and researching everything. If you go with the mindset of "i will get disappointed", it will happen, and if you overhype it, you will get disappointed because you cannot control how the experience will go.
Dont be so hard on yourself, you are not a loser, you are a human being and there is no set rythm for everyone to follow. I started drinking later than most of my friends because i needed just to choose my timing to do so.
Thank you for your advice! Ya, I did some small planning already and I came to the same conclusion you did. I'll be starting out with an indie for sure. There was one positive review I read from another TAG member that had their first time with an indie, so I'll probably match what he did.
You basically sound like me at 30. I don't know how well you do socially outside the whole dating women thing but if you're like me and you can socialise without stuttering around all the time, you'll be fine.
I wish I had done what I've done last year and what you're about to do when I was 25 and not 30.
Better late than never, for sure. Also, nice Disco Elysium pfp!
I mean this in a very kind way - have you considered therapy? I'm not sure drinking and mongering are solutions to any of your problems (heck, I'm not even sure they are the solution to anything lol).
Therapy seems pretty pointless to me. Sitting on a sofa and spewing my problems to some rando that has never been in the same position as me. Actually, I think it is all remote now, so even more worthless.
This Japan trip is the kind of therapy I need lmao.
And also: if there is one thing people love to talk about it's fucking anime. People don't like to hear it and still want to perpetrate the idea that Japanese people shun anime watchers but there are a shitload of Japanese people who casually watched any of the super big series of the past few years. They may not be into anime any deeper than that but every single person I talked to in Japan has watched SOMETHING. This old-ass sushi chef and his wife talked to me about Demon Slayer, the barber recognised one of my keychains from a series, as did the cute assistant.
Pretty much every Japanese person I talked to on HelloTalk as some interest in either Anime or Manga. Even 40+ year old ladies.
Anyway as for OP starting to drink in Japan, maybe he is from a strict environment back home and hasn’t been allowed to drink or it has been strongly frowned upon. Being away from your home country and family can be very liberating.
Nah, nothing like that. I could've drunk when I was 18 if I wanted to. I just didn't see the
need in it. Since I'm going to be in Japan and that Japan is a drinking-heavy country, I should give it a try. See how it is, etc. This trip is the trip of experimentation for sure lmao
