I'm pretty sure that a lot of couples here are perfectly happy not having sex with each other and still live together and run a family together.
For some of those couples one or both people may seek the sex with others, but i think also a lot of people here just compensate their sexdrive by working or focusing on taking care of the children and that tires them so much that they usually wont have an interest in having sex.
I don't know how to fix that part.
I would suggest opening up a conversation with her. Tell her how you feel. If there's no communication on the subject then it'll never get fixed.
I have had friends who have had similar problems with their wives not being interest in sex, and instead of sitting down and having a real conversation with them (I've had discussions with my friends about them not discussing the problem) about their lack of intimacy they just go out and find someone else to have sex with. I'm not talking about a short 3 minutes conversation of "I want to have sex tonight". I'm talking a real heart to heart about the subject. You'd be surprised how many people fail to have these discussions with their spouses because they are afraid to bring it up.
Another thing that I get when people say "you should discuss it", is that "discussing it" is a very western thing to do. I'm not sure if it applies to a lot of dynamics here in Japan.
Case in point is the different approach @Wwanderer and I use in certain situations, which has been discussed elsewhere.
. When someone says "you should discuss it", I guess they implicitly mean "you should make a serious attempt to discuss it".
When someone says "you should discuss it", I guess they implicitly mean "you should make a serious attempt to discuss it".
-Ww
When someone says "you should discuss it", I guess they implicitly mean "you should make a serious attempt to discuss it".
In mine we say exactly the same, but we use "walnuts" instead of "meat".there is a proverb in my country that says "god gives meat only to people who don't have teethes"
Maybe paying your wife for it then?We have had serious discussions about it, even with a marriage counselor. It got better temporarily, then back to the same pattern of very little sex.
I should clarify my situation a little. If I want sex and ask her for it most times she will give it to me. But I dont feel like she really wants to. And that discourages me from wanting to have sex with her so it does not happen often. If I dont initiate, I dont think she would approach me for sex. We would probably be one of those sexless couples you hear about in Japan. I feel like she only has sex with me because out of marital obligation which is disappointing to me. Should I just be happy that my wife gives me the physical part of sex most of the time?
I guess paying someone to have sex with you is also just out of an obligation (financial), although I still very much enjoy it. What would be ideal is for my wife to really want to have sex with me. That would be most satisfying.
Maybe paying your wife for it then?
Geez, this kinda bums me out.You probably don't want to hear this but yes, that is a thing. You only need to go as far as the next country from your home base back in Europe. It must be true because I read it from the internet and they stated it is a somewhat common thing to leave money on the night table for the wife after the fact. I just wonder if you tip extra for good service?
Even here one of my lady friends confessed occasionally having relations with her husband. But she continued "but as I am getting paid I think it's part of the job". Though she was referring to her husband giving her his paycheck monthly and not paying a per trick rate.
Which country? I've never heard of that.You probably don't want to hear this but yes, that is a thing. You only need to go as far as the next country from your home base back in Europe. It must be true because I read it from the internet and they stated it is a somewhat common thing to leave money on the night table for the wife after the fact. I just wonder if you tip extra for good service?
Even here one of my lady friends confessed occasionally having relations with her husband. But she continued "but as I am getting paid I think it's part of the job". Though she was referring to her husband giving her his paycheck monthly and not paying a per trick rate.
Sounds like an "histoire belge"Which country? I've never heard of that.
Maybe Switzerland. They have very weird customs , those mountains tribes
They probably see this as a trade-off with the FKK then.Germany. I believed the story, after all they have lederhosen too so nothing is impossible.