Question About Pua In Countryside, And Eye-contact

[Solong]

Getting sex is not the most important thing in life. As an unattractive woman, its worth nothing to be able to have sex or even sell sex when you get constantly put down and shamed for your body.

I'm not disagreeing that life can be hard for unattractive women, but it's also hard for unattractive men.

Furthermore, alot of the shaming and put downs of unattractive women and their bodies are coming from OTHER women. This is where women are being highly competitive among themselves or forming hierarchies within their own groups based on beauty.

Also, how DARE you say women are not caring. Generally women have always been MORE emotionally caring than men. Its mothers that stay with the children when fathers fun. Its women that wait for men who say they are "not ready to settle" and play them around. The woman is traditionally the symbol of emotional care.

I will dare and the answer may be shocking to many. What various women don't know, is the question of IF women actually love men has been long debated among MGTOW.

The general consensus is:

1) Women do love their children and possessions.

In the case of children, this is arguably due to maternal instincts and that the children are of their DNA, seen as their possession, and/or seen as their accomplishment in life.

2) Women usually do NOT love men.

It's argued that it's mostly unidirectional, where usually only the man loves the woman. Where she doesn't actually love him as a person, but "loves" what he can DO for her or his usefulness to her.

Men are arguably seen as a utility/tool, source of money, and means of protecting their possessions or lifestyle from threats (security), to include from other men or women.

As for my personal opinion, I'm undecided. But so that others don't think this viewpoint about the love of women is just something fabricated by me, I have included some MGTOW and others links debating such.


(Women Don't Love Men... Sandman...MGTOW)


(Women Don't Love Men... MGTOW)

http://no-maam.blogspot.jp/2006/01/very-few-women-are-capable-of.html?m=1

https://m.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2bqwsm/women_do_not_love_men/

 

[Kegger]

Another PUA thread that seems to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

To the OP. Have you considered a less direct approach. Rather than approaching with a comment on how cute she is, why not play the lost gaijin card.

Easier way to break the ice, and not so much of an in your face approach.

 

[just4fun]

Sorry for getting off topic so much.

I don't know why they smile and make eye contact first and then reject you. It might be that they were just looking at you because a foreigner is an unusual sight. Or they do like you but chicken out or are embarrased to be approached while their friends are around.

I have no idea about good places to look for girls in your city since you basically mentioned everything. Just keeping trying every time you see a girl that's really your type seems the only option.

Maybe they didn't like his voice.....

 

[just4fun]

About eye contact: Walking around in Tokyo it aint common to get girls openly checking you out. Or is it? try pulling out your phone and pretend to look at it but sneak a look ahead in your peripheral vision. Watch how many girls are actually checking you out when they think there aint a chance they'll lock eyes with you or be caught somehow. At least in my experience the difference is crazy

When I see them staring/smiling.....I smile and wink.......if they're "my type" at times I'll stop and turn around.....if they look back I'll wave to them to come back......some do but most don't......but the ones that do have been real cool. I guess that's just my way.

 

[Rickhhh]

When I see them staring/smiling.....I smile and wink.......if they're "my type" at times I'll stop and turn around.....if they look back I'll wave to them to come back......some do but most don't......but the ones that do have been real cool. I guess that's just my way.

And have you had them keep in contact after that? Did it lead to anything?

 

[Rickhhh]

Maybe they didn't like his voice.....

Girls love my voice

 

[Rickhhh]

Another PUA thread that seems to go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

To the OP. Have you considered a less direct approach. Rather than approaching with a comment on how cute she is, why not play the lost gaijin card.

Easier way to break the ice, and not so much of an in your face approach.

Man I just feel uncomfortable not being genuine in my intentions. Most girls know you like them if you talk to them.. And I'd only talk to a girl who looks me in the eye and shows interest. So in this situation does anyone have an idea that would show confidence without being too direct?

 

[Kegger]

Man I just feel uncomfortable not being genuine in my intentions. Most girls know you like them if you talk to them.. And I'd only talk to a girl who looks me in the eye and shows interest. So in this situation does anyone have an idea that would show confidence without being too direct?

I hear what you're saying, but as per your original post, it is not working.
How about using the circumstances you are in to your advantage? i.e. If you are in a restaurant, ask the cute girl at the next table if a certain item on the menu is good. If you are in a shop as her if the price includes tax. If you are in a train station as what platform your train goes from.

Sounds like your direct approach is failing (the shutters are coming straight down). You gotta adapt to the circumstances, and I would hardly call the above overly deceiving.

To me this is not PUA, this is common sense. Anything you can do to get her talking.

And (as he cracks open the hornets nest), using terms like PUA & "game", and then feeling uncomfortable about not being genuine in your intentions doesn't really make sense to me.

 

[just4fun]

And have you had them keep in contact after that? Did it lead to anything?

Some yes and some no.......you know how things go.......depends on their voice

 

[Ascent]

I hear what you're saying, but as per your original post, it is not working.
How about using the circumstances you are in to your advantage? i.e. If you are in a restaurant, ask the cute girl at the next table if a certain item on the menu is good. If you are in a shop as her if the price includes tax. If you are in a train station as what platform your train goes from.

Sounds like your direct approach is failing (the shutters are coming straight down). You gotta adapt to the circumstances, and I would hardly call the above overly deceiving.

To me this is not PUA, this is common sense. Anything you can do to get her talking.

And (as he cracks open the hornets nest), using terms like PUA & "game", and then feeling uncomfortable about not being genuine in your intentions doesn't really make sense to me.

If he was getting shut down for directly approaching, they wouldn't even talk to him, or display interest. Instead he is reporting being refused meetings/contacts from obviously interested girls.

They aren't shutting him down for coming to talk to them, they are shutting him down because he is a stranger and they are not receptive to the idea of seeing someone met this way again (or he is misreading their politely faked niceness for genuine warmth).

Same thing happened to me all the time, and after a while you just lose all motivation to approach. Why put yourself out there only to get another number from a girl who isn't even going to read your texts and probably decided so even as she was so sweetly leading you down the garden path?

And many girls are definitely wise to the ultra-indirect if not mildly deceptive approach of faking needing directions or something, so being too indirect is unlikely to help either.

 

[Sinapse]

To me this is not PUA, this is common sense. Anything you can do to get her talking.

And (as he cracks open the hornets nest), using terms like PUA & "game", and then feeling uncomfortable about not being genuine in your intentions doesn't really make sense to me

This is basically why @Solong and I are always trying to separate between PUA and pickup/game. Your theories about which technique is best for responding (i.e. Being indirect or direct) IS most certainly game. Everybody thinks about what is the best way to do things, and this is all game. It's not a binary (you either are or aren't a PUA) it's a spectrum (how much do you think about game / do game). Everybody is somewhere on the spectrum.

Why put yourself out there only to get another number from a girl who isn't even going to read your texts and probably decided so even as she was so sweetly leading you down the garden path?

Now you're determining the reaction before it even happens (self-fulfilling prophecy). You still have to account for why it works for some people and not you. It's the way you approach that makes the difference. Very few girls have made up a hard fast rule in their head that they won't interact with strangers on the street - every interaction is renegotiated instantly, not destined beforehand

 

[User#8628]

I'm not disagreeing that life can be hard for unattractive women, but it's also hard for unattractive men.

Furthermore, alot of the shaming and put downs of unattractive women and their bodies are coming from OTHER women. This is where women are being highly competitive among themselves or forming hierarchies within their own groups based on beauty.



I will dare and the answer may be shocking to many. What various women don't know, is the question of IF women actually love men has been long debated among MGTOW.

The general consensus is:

1) Women do love their children and possessions.

In the case of children, this is arguably due to maternal instincts and that the children are of their DNA, seen as their possession, and/or seen as their accomplishment in life.

2) Women usually do NOT love men.

It's argued that it's mostly unidirectional, where usually only the man loves the woman. Where she doesn't actually love him as a person, but "loves" what he can DO for her or his usefulness to her.

Men are arguably seen as a utility/tool, source of money, and means of protecting their possessions or lifestyle from threats (security), to include from other men or women.

As for my personal opinion, I'm undecided. But so that others don't think this viewpoint about the love of women is just something fabricated by me, I have included some MGTOW and others links debating such.


(Women Don't Love Men... Sandman...MGTOW)


(Women Don't Love Men... MGTOW)

http://no-maam.blogspot.jp/2006/01/very-few-women-are-capable-of.html?m=1

https://m.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2bqwsm/women_do_not_love_men/

Shit like MGTOW and "the red pill" is the most idiotic stuff on the internet.
Women are not monsters, we are just ordinary people and capable of romantic love just as much as men. Just look at some books and movies, of course men dying for women is more common because men are traditionally taught to be heroic and protect women but there are so many women in so many situations that have sacrifised themselves or other things that were important for them for men.
Yes, there is some general rule that women love their children more than their husband (not all women do this but the ones that love their husband more are looked down on) but that doesn't mean they are not capable of romantic love.

So what about lesbians? They love each other just for the other's job and posessions? Haha

Plus there are also boys who date girls just for their money and posessions, they are called "himo" in Japan.

 

[jacqueh]

What exactly are you telling them on Line? How are you starting/leading the online interaction? This seems to be where you keep failing to maintain the connection, so working on that part should matter.

Other point, don't nampa girls in front of their friends, as no matter how much they liked you at first sight, they'll have to let you go to maintain their image of good girl. If you see a girl in a club, use clever signs to have her walk outside of her group, and talk to her once she's away from them. She'll usually understand why you're doing this, and this can be the first step of a relationship. Girls are smart, they do those things all the time.

You can ignore this rule when you're extremely confident about your skills, but I consider it to be a good starting point.

 

[User#8628]

I am a woman and i'm pretty sure i'm capable of romantic love.
It's hard to say there is absolutely nothing in it for me. Most people have something that their partner could benefit from like good looks, money, social status, some talent or whatever.
And that is part of what makes someone attractive because it is part of who they are. But love is not about that and women know that.

 

[User#8628]

You (SoLong) act like men have the biggest problem in this "men have more demand for sex than is offered (for free) case. But women are getting raped because of this bullshit!
Half of the women i know have been sexually assaulted in their life.
If we are "aristocrats" as you put it, then we are the ones that are in constant danger to be beheaded because we have money. Still wanna trade?

Donki and sex shops sell some great fake pussies, of does that also count as being "forced to pay for sex".

There are a lot of guys who don't have trouble getting sex at all. They have a relationship with a girl with a healthy sex drive for example, instead of relying on loose contacts.

And look at hosts. Many of them are not even attractive but they can get thons of sex and even get rewarded for it with money and gifts. In this case it shows that a good environment to meet girls, good social skills, being very well groomed and treating a girl in a way she likes are the most important factors for getting laid.

 

[Sinapse]

Re: OP and gaming in the countryside/small circles/cities:

You definitely need to be more chill about gaming in smaller circles. If you poison the pool, you will make things a bit difficult for you. I wouldn't recommend spam cold approaching unless there is pretty good anonymity there, just because calibration is a bitch and takes a long time, and before you're pretty well calibrated your approaches might not come off the best. Instead, I'd focus on making more targeted, indirect approaches, online game (get some chicks from the nearby villages/cities to come to your city), and b building a social circle. Not just any social circle, but one with the right people for you. If you like students, night life workers, party people, serious OLs, whatever.. Try to just make friends with them (often easier to just start with the dudes). Play the long game and it'll reward you. Then, note that pulling every girl left and right can spoil a social circle and you will end up being "That guy" so discretion is the key word here.

Re: women vs men, etc. I think both sexes have feelings which can get hurt (obviously), but I wouldn't ever envy women for the struggle they have to go to. Saying most women can just get sex whenever they want is evaluating them based on male criteria. In general women are often trying to find people who will treat them fairly and we after the hook up, not only looking for sex. And, as @User#8628 mentioned, there's a lot more to think about in terms of just brute strength. I wouldn't consider myself an extreme feminist, but I also don't prickle at the word. I think there is a middle ground of empowerment without trying to hold men (or women) down or just power grab.. A middle ground that too often gets drowned out by media like Jezebel and extremely hardcore feminist websites propagating extreme positions. To me, such sites are basically the female equivalent of "red pill" and Return of Kings type thought. Ultimately, if you're only worried about your own gender and concerned about trying to hold the other down and getting as much as you can, I think that's unhealthy. I think there is space for gamers and feminists to have a nice moderate middle ground where everybody respects that women and men are not the same, don't need to be the same, never will be the same, but still should both be respected in their own way. Actually, men and women are much in search of the same things really on a deep level. Don't take advantage of people as much as possible and don't be a dick. No need to just take take take, instead focus on finding people with affinity with you and support them in their path as well. Kinda long winded, but really my point is that both radical extreme feminism and red pill hyper masculine stuff just seem like over-reactions and to fundamentally come from a place of weakness.

 

[User#8628]

Re: OP and gaming in the countryside/small circles/cities:

You definitely need to be more chill about gaming in smaller circles. If you poison the pool, you will make things a bit difficult for you. I wouldn't recommend spam cold approaching unless there is pretty good anonymity there, just because calibration is a bitch and takes a long time, and before you're pretty well calibrated your approaches might not come off the best. Instead, I'd focus on making more targeted, indirect approaches, online game (get some chicks from the nearby villages/cities to come to your city), and b building a social circle. Not just any social circle, but one with the right people for you. If you like students, night life workers, party people, serious OLs, whatever.. Try to just make friends with them (often easier to just start with the dudes). Play the long game and it'll reward you. Then, note that pulling every girl left and right can spoil a social circle and you will end up being "That guy" so discretion is the key word here.

Re: women vs men, etc. I think both sexes have feelings which can get hurt (obviously), but I wouldn't ever envy women for the struggle they have to go to. Saying most women can just get sex whenever they want is evaluating them based on male criteria. In general women are often trying to find people who will treat them fairly and we after the hook up, not only looking for sex. And, as @User#8628 mentioned, there's a lot more to think about in terms of just brute strength. I wouldn't consider myself an extreme feminist, but I also don't prickle at the word. I think there is a middle ground of empowerment without trying to hold men (or women) down or just power grab.. A middle ground that too often gets drowned out by media like Jezebel and extremely hardcore feminist websites propagating extreme positions. To me, such sites are basically the female equivalent of "red pill" and Return of Kings type thought. Ultimately, if you're only worried about your own gender and concerned about trying to hold the other down and getting as much as you can, I think that's unhealthy. I think there is space for gamers and feminists to have a nice moderate middle ground where everybody respects that women and men are not the same, don't need to be the same, never will be the same, but still should both be respected in their own way. Actually, men and women are much in search of the same things really on a deep level. Don't take advantage of people as much as possible and don't be a dick. No need to just take take take, instead focus on finding people with affinity with you and support them in their path as well. Kinda long winded, but really my point is that both radical extreme feminism and red pill hyper masculine stuff just seem like over-reactions and to fundamentally come from a place of weakness.

I totally agree.
Some people act like there is some kind of war between genders, and there are definitely men who hate women and women who hate men but we are all just people. Yes there are some differences but it's not like one gender is heartless and uncapable of to love the other gender or something.

And probably all women can get sex, but like you mentioned so well, it's important for women to have some affection and get treated righ during and after sex. I've heard too much of men having sex with a woman who a slut in their eyes or is unattractive to them just because they crave sex and then being extremely cold or even openly being rude and insulting her. That's terrible.

I agree with what you say about countryside pick up. The problem is that OP said before that he doesn't like meeting girls from internet. It seems like a good idea to try anyway, for the discretion. As for the rest i think making a social circle with guys who can introduce you to the type of girls you like and take you to places where they hang out that you might not know yet is indeed a good plan.

 

[Solong]

You (SoLong) act like men have the biggest problem in this "men have more demand for sex than is offered (for free) case. But women are getting raped because of this bullshit!
Half of the women i know have been sexually assaulted in their life.

I'm totally against rape and unnecessary human suffering. And I do understand that for a sex worker (female or male), rape and being robbed are a greater occupational hazard.

However, there is often an attempt to dismiss male suffering and issues. Even to the extent of perpetuating myths that men are "all powerful" or ignore male rape and the sexual abuse of boys; to include female perpetrators of such acts.

So, to enlighten... Arguably, more men get raped than women.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...d-US-women-including-prison-sexual-abuse.html
(More men are raped in the U.S. than women)

This doesn't include a lot of unprosecuted rape and sexual abuse of boys by adult women.

http://equalitycanada.com/why-are-s...arch-into-female-perpetrated-sexual-violence/
(Women raping boys)

Donki and sex shops sell some great fake pussies, of does that also count as being "forced to pay for sex".

This is an disingenuous argument. Can we also tell women that since vibrators and dildos exist, to stop having sex with men?

This is to ignore and discount the need, and even the biology, for human interaction and human emotion.

Fake plastic pussy NOT equal to real woman.

Fake plastic dildo, NOT equal to real man.

Forced to pay for sex, speaks to men who are suffering from lack of female companionship and have limited sexual options. Where comparatively, much more women have numerous sexual options and offers.

There are a lot of guys who don't have trouble getting sex at all. They have a relationship with a girl with a healthy sex drive for example, instead of relying on loose contacts.

And look at hosts. Many of them are not even attractive but they can get thons of sex and even get rewarded for it with money and gifts. In this case it shows that a good environment to meet girls, good social skills, being very well groomed and treating a girl in a way she likes are the most important factors for getting laid.

We are talking comparatively, where heterosexual sex is much easier to attain for women, even to the point that they can abuse this advantage much more for getting money from heterosexual men.

Actually, most guys who will become hosts, will FAIL. It's debated that only 10% to 20% of men that become hosts will make enough money at it.

Hosts develop skills like entertainers or elite PUAs, for specifically attracting women and keeping them as customers. The less above average in physical attractiveness that he is, the more skills he has to develop. It's arguably high level skills, that takes time to learn and develop, and of which not every guy is good at in this way.

Furthermore, many hosts do not have sex with their female customers or do so only strategically and materialistically. Their goal is to make her PAY money to the bar or him. In fact, various host bars will try to trick women, where they are in debt or owe so much money to the bar, that the woman must prostitute herself or provide some service to work off the debt. Have seen and talked with young women in deai cafes, who were victims of such scams.

 

[User#8628]

I'm totally against rape and unnecessary human suffering. And I do understand that for a sex worker (female or male), rape and being robbed are a greater occupational hazard.

However, there is often an attempt to dismiss male suffering and issues. Even to the extent of perpetuating myths that men are "all powerful" or ignore male rape and the sexual abuse of boys; to include female perpetrators of such acts.

So, to enlighten... Arguably, more men get raped than women.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...d-US-women-including-prison-sexual-abuse.html
(More men are raped in the U.S. than women)

This doesn't include a lot of unprosecuted rape and sexual abuse of boys by adult women.

http://equalitycanada.com/why-are-s...arch-into-female-perpetrated-sexual-violence/
(Women raping boys)



This is an disingenuous argument. Can we also tell women that since vibrators and dildos exist, to stop having sex with men?

This is to ignore and discount the need, and even the biology, for human interaction and human emotion.

Fake plastic pussy NOT equal to real woman.

Fake plastic dildo, NOT equal to real man.

Forced to pay for sex, speaks to men who are suffering from lack of female companionship and have limited sexual options. Where comparatively, much more women have numerous sexual options and offers.



We are talking comparatively, where heterosexual sex is much easier to attain for women, even to the point that they can abuse this advantage much more for getting money from heterosexual men.

Actually, most guys who will become hosts, will FAIL. It's debated that only 10% to 20% of men that become hosts will make enough money at it.

Hosts develop skills like entertainers or elite PUAs, for specifically attracting women and keeping them as customers. The less above average in physical attractiveness that he is, the more skills he has to develop. It's arguably high level skills, that takes time to learn and develop, and of which not every guy is good at in this way.

Furthermore, many hosts do not have sex with their female customers or do so only strategically and materialistically. Their goal is to make her PAY money to the bar or him. In fact, various host bars will try to trick women, where they are in debt or owe so much money to the bar, that the woman must prostitute herself or provide some service to work off the debt. Have seen and talked with young women in deai cafes, who were victims of such scams.

I'm aware that men also get raped but definitely more women get raped than men.
And prison rape is men raping men, and its not exactly like they rape innocent people, they often target pedophiles to punish them. I don't think prison rape is ok by any means but i'm not sure if it fair to consider this in this situation.

There are many men who are not very attractive but NEVER use p4p because its not their style and still get sex.
These are usually men who look for serious, long term relationships rather than loose contact.

I know most hosts fail to earn enough in their job but that doesn't mean they fail to get sex. I feel like a lot of the low rank hosts are just there for the free drink and chance to get girls into bed anyway.
The succesfull high level hosts seem to not have a big sex drive at all and try to avoid it as much as they can, especially with unattractive customers.

I'm well aware how host culture works. I have dated hosts. I have visited clubs. I am friends with some of the other deai cafe girls and i go there sometimes myself.
Host is not really a scam (unless the guys order drinks without discussing this with the girl first, if she is drunk amd passed out of something) it's more of an addiction. And usually the girls who go to host clubs are already sex workers. Of course sometimes a guy will let an "innocent" girl spend too much and then introduce her to a soap or deliheru to pay off her bills but usually the girls are already in the world. When they stop seeing a boy they just go to another club and fall in love with another boy.
It's an interesting world but too much of a waste of money in my eyes so i don't participate actively.

 

[TokyoJoeblow]

Hey all,

So I've mainly learned PUA (which I consider as simply a natural act of approaching a girl I like and expressing my heart) from an American life coach. I agree with most of his methods, which mainly center around being natural and saying whatever is in your heart. I've all but lost my fear of approaching, and of rejection. However, this guy hasn't lived in Asia. He's one of those guys who thinks all women are the same, and I've learned that's not the case.

Though I should be building confidence through positive experiences, my recent ones aren't doing anything for my confidence.

I lived in Tokyo 5 years ago. At that time my game was horrible and I was clueless about pickup and didn't even try it much other than night clubs/bars/etc. Since then I've moved to Taiwan, and started studying and practicing, becoming a better version of myself, and becoming comfortable in my own skin. My game was great there and girls were pretty receptive. Now, I've moved back to Japan about 4 months ago to a medium sized, rather more conservative city.

It might not seem like much to some of the pros here, but I must have done around 10-20 approaches since I've been here (only when I see a girl I'm really into). I've had three or four cases where girls were showing high levels of interest with smiling and eye-contact, but when I approached, though they were polite and sometimes smiling and laughing, they either denied exchanging contact info or refused requests to meet up. Another girl was showing all signs of attraction, laughing at everything I said, etc.. (she was with a friend), and we exchanged Lines,.. but no reply. I've met other girls that show signs of attraction...but it's like from the get-go they've pre-decided that they can't take it anywhere with me simple because I'm a stranger (I'm avoiding saying foreigner because I don't think it's a racism issue). So I've often found myself having the irrational fear that girls here (I don't know if it's just this city, or what) are simply not open to the advances of a stranger simply because he's a stranger. This city is known for being friendlier, but more conservative than most.

I try not to believe it, but I feel the young women are living by some unnatural rule or code that says they can't go out with someone they met on the street. As a result, though I continue encouraging myself and approaching girls I like, I often find myself assuming that any girl who shows signs of interest is just going to say no. Anyway, I'd love to hear your advice and experiences- especially from someone who's lived in the countryside.

I'd also like to know what is the main difference between PUS that works in Japan vs America. My approach either simply going up calmly and, in a matter-of-fact kind of way, telling her I think she's cute, then proceeding to ask questions. The natural approach has worked for me in other countries... but is it something I should change here?

Furthermore, I'd like to talk about eye-contact. When I go to other countries, I'm somehow reminded of my own physical attractiveness through others' eye-contact and even the occasional compliment. Here, the constant avoidance of eye-contact, though I suspect a cultural thing, sometimes gets to me as well. Call me sensitive, but it also plays on my confidence. Has anyone else an explanation on this? I read about it to some degree in books but it was normally about when you meet someone new. I'm referring to when you're out on the streets.

I appreciate the advice!

I will assume you want to be discreet about what city you are living in now...but I can't help but guess that it could be Shizuoka city? This is a super conservative city...like possibly the most conservative in the whole country haha. It is a beautiful city though with amazing food and hotties everywhere!

 

[jacqueh]

Of course sometimes a guy will let an "innocent" girl spend too much and then introduce her to a soap or deliheru to pay off her bills

Side note, as we're getting very much off topic... This line here is horrible. Getting forced into prostitution for spending too much in a bar sounds rather sad, even if true.

Re: Men vs Women: @Solong's point seems to be: Sex is better than nothing for both genders, and a larger proportion of women can have sex easily, so women have a natural advantage. This point is fair, but only if we stop the analysis at the common minimum level of pleasure. If we consider the other extreme, the field is more evenly balanced. Women look for guys ready to commit with them (a lot of women look for a long term commitment), whereas guys are very selective as to who to commit to, actually more selective than women are with sex. That's when the balance comes back, women can get sex easily, but they're after commitment, which is hard to come by, especially as their physical attractiveness is considered to be an asset that deprecates with time (at least in Japan, where men just don't look at any woman over 30), and as men get more viable because they get wealthier, more confident, and more ready to commit with age.

Considering what each gender is after, the equivalent of female rape is not male rape, it is psychological abuse, self-confidence crush (women tricking their men into thinking they can't get better), poking holes in condoms and getting pregnant, threats of fake rape accusation, whatever mixture of methods that can be used to force commitment.

After a certain age, men can still get sex through seduction or p4p, but single women can't do much to get out of loneliness. Therefore, in an adversarial notation (which can help put things in perspective) we can establish that the power balance is heavily in favor of women until about 30yo, when the power gradually shifts in favor of men (or at least, in favor of men who are looking at dating in their age group).

Back on topic: @Rickhhh second question (after "What do you ask them on Line?" (my previous post)): What holds you in this city? Is the job so good that you can't find an equivalent in a bigger, more foreigner-friendly city? I am not urging you to relocate, but not having access to intimate relationships can be a serious drawback in life, and if the main reason is the location... Why not change it?

 

[User#8628]

Side note, as we're getting very much off topic... This line here is horrible. Getting forced into prostitution for spending too much in a bar sounds rather sad, even if true.

Re: Men vs Women: @Solong's point seems to be: Sex is better than nothing for both genders, and a larger proportion of women can have sex easily, so women have a natural advantage. This point is fair, but only if we stop the analysis at the common minimum level of pleasure. If we consider the other extreme, the field is more evenly balanced. Women look for guys ready to commit with them (a lot of women look for a long term commitment), whereas guys are very selective as to who to commit to, actually more selective than women are with sex. That's when the balance comes back, women can get sex easily, but they're after commitment, which is hard to come by, especially as their physical attractiveness is considered to be an asset that deprecates with time (at least in Japan, where men just don't look at any woman over 30), and as men get more viable because they get wealthier, more confident, and more ready to commit with age.

Considering what each gender is after, the equivalent of female rape is not male rape, it is psychological abuse, self-confidence crush (women tricking their men into thinking they can't get better), poking holes in condoms and getting pregnant, threats of fake rape accusation, whatever mixture of methods that can be used to force commitment.

After a certain age, men can still get sex through seduction or p4p, but single women can't do much to get out of loneliness. Therefore, in an adversarial notation (which can help put things in perspective) we can establish that the power balance is heavily in favor of women until about 30yo, when the power gradually shifts in favor of men (or at least, in favor of men who are looking at dating in their age group).

Back on topic: @Rickhhh second question (after "What do you ask them on Line?" (my previous post)): What holds you in this city? Is the job so good that you can't find an equivalent in a bigger, more foreigner-friendly city? I am not urging you to relocate, but not having access to intimate relationships can be a serious drawback in life, and if the main reason is the location... Why not change it?

I just said "introduced" not "forced". Yes they have a high bill but they shouldn't have let it come that far and they can always choose to make a loan or to get the money (usually between 1000 and 10000 dollar) together in another way. It's usually that the girls decide they want to keep going when they run out of savings to spend, so they ask the boys to help them get a better paid job.

 

[meiji]

Please take the off-topic discussion elsewhere, thanks. (Thanks to those who continue to stay on topic)

 

[Ascent]

Now you're determining the reaction before it even happens (self-fulfilling prophecy). You still have to account for why it works for some people and not you. It's the way you approach that makes the difference. Very few girls have made up a hard fast rule in their head that they won't interact with strangers on the street - every interaction is renegotiated instantly, not destined beforehand

I'm well aware of it being a potential self-fulfilling prophecy. But if 99 out of a hundred girls you are into go nowhere, you're realistically not going to have any expectation of success in dealing with a particular girl.

The OP is having trouble keeping his motivation up and will probably become depressed if he keeps it up, he doesn't live in an environment where he could approach thousands of times even if he could keep it up, and it doesn't seem he is part of a local circle of PUA who could advise him on the mysteries of "calibration". So it would be reasonable to predict his chances of making cold approach - direct or indirect - work as his primary means of meeting women are limited. Trying some other stuff ASAP seems advisable!

 

[Solong]

I'm well aware of it being a potential self-fulfilling prophecy. But if 99 out of a hundred girls you are into go nowhere, you're realistically not going to have any expectation of success in dealing with a particular girl.

The OP is having trouble keeping his motivation up and will probably become depressed if he keeps it up, he doesn't live in an environment where he could approach thousands of times even if he could keep it up, and it doesn't seem he is part of a local circle of PUA who could advise him on the mysteries of "calibration". So it would be reasonable to predict his chances of making cold approach - direct or indirect - work as his primary means of meeting women are limited. Trying some other stuff ASAP seems advisable!

We have to keep in mind that every guy is different. What one guy can't do, another can find away or figure it how to do it. Where one succeeds, another fails. It depends.

And PUA can be learned online, or a guy goes to a seminar when he has free time or some vacation day. It isn't absolutely necessary that he be around other PUA, rather he is learning and developing different methods that work for him.