Sugar Daddy Questions

[MikeH]

Omedetoo!
Same here with a... ahem... escort

I feel left out of the group now because my flight attendant friend is already 26, but as you put it... ahem... friend.

Though like in any other fantasy it is always better in your mind than in real life. As she is pretty much all the time in some other part of the world and just in Tokyo maybe twice a month.

 

[Frenchy]

I feel left out of the group now because my flight attendant friend is already 26, but as you put it... ahem... friend.

Though like in any other fantasy it is always better in your mind than in real life. As she is pretty much all the time in some other part of the world and just in Tokyo maybe twice a month.

I was not my usual smart ass, I really meant a meeting arranged on SA with an escort.
For the fantasy just ask one of your FWB to wear a fake air hostess DonQui outfit, hey you can at least afford that I'm sure!

 

[RandomTokyoGuy]

I think SA originates somewhere in the US, maybe NY or SF, where pretty sick rates are standard and I think those categories in SA are not adjusted to location, only exchange rate applied. If you join the site as a girl and know little about this, do you really put yourself in the cheapest category?
Of course Tokyo has its fair share of wealthy guys as well as afluent business travelers, but a number of girls probably overestimate their value their. Others might just be happy with an occasional hit. Don't forget that SB is generally probably not a high volume business.

With 30 or 40k a month it will probably be difficult to find an exclusive arrangement, but nothing is impossible. Not all SB look for money only.

 

[Frenchy]

Just personal experience :
- joined a week ago
- so far 10 ladies contacted me
- I initiated 0 contact
- 3 meetings arranged, 1 already done (no follow-up as I was not interested to go further - fun conversation though - cost: 1 drink, no hard feelings)

I think SA originates somewhere in the US, maybe NY or SF, where pretty sick rates are standard and I think those categories in SA are not adjusted to location, only exchange rate applied. If you join the site as a girl and know little about this, do you really put yourself in the cheapest category?
Of course Tokyo has its fair share of wealthy guys as well as afluent business travelers, but a number of girls probably overestimate their value their. Others might just be happy with an occasional hit. Don't forget that SB is generally probably not a high volume business.

With 30 or 40k a month it will probably be difficult to find an exclusive arrangement, but nothing is impossible. Not all SB look for money only.

Exclusive, at this price, of course not, but why asking for exclusivity in the first place?

 

[MikeH]

I was not my usual smart ass, I really meant a meeting arranged on SA with an escort.
For the fantasy just ask one of your FWB to wear a fake air hostess DonQui outfit, hey you can at least afford that I'm sure!

Dang, I thought you meant an escort who is also flight attendant. As a stingy guy I have a friend who owns a genuine uniform so I am saving even the Donki prices here!

Though the first time we spend a night together I noticed the uniform in the closet and started drooling. She looked at me and asked sharply "I hope you are not one of those guys who ask a girl to wear that uniform at bed?".

Surprised I mumbled something "well, me, of course not, like, never" and she started to laugh and said "of course you are, like everyone else"

 

[DocMcStuffins]

I thought I would not post here again but the self-serving BS of the "let's keep prices high" mafia just makes me sick.
Got two appointments already on SA , no cash asked for "social time", it's basically a get to know you first meeting with no string attached and the rest is negotiable if it suits both sides to go further. And thats what I like. Face to face , equal situation before getting serious or not. Pics lie. Internet personas lie. Old-fashioned meetings dont.

Btw it can be much lower than whatever Ww or Princess Alice lead you to believe.
And i never had to make the first contact, they did. It's a buyers' market.
Stop being suckers guys...

Since you're french, I'll excuse your ignorance on how markets work.

 

[Frenchy]

Since you're french, I'll excuse your ignorance on how markets work.

Whats your address on BBG? Please teach me how markets work...

 

[DocMcStuffins]

Whats your address on BBG? Please teach me how markets work...

My gut is telling me you get it too but you're complaining anyway.

 

[Frenchy]

My gut is telling me you get it too but you're complaining anyway.

Markets are constantly arbitraged , otherwise they are not efficient... no one should complain about that especially not me, and not the providers either. Be careful if you just follow your gut though (but thats a mistake i often make too, I admit).

 

[Wwanderer]

@Snuggles - I am glad that you started this thread because it has led to some good posts about sugaring by various people with a range of perspectives. And you have been very gracious about thanking everyone for their input etc.

However, tbh, it appears to me that when you get answers that don't agree with your going-in expectations or which you don't like for some reason, you reject them and/or get annoyed. And when you encounter a few SBs whose ideas of sugaring don't line up well with your own, you again get annoyed and/or decide to give up on the whole sugar world in frustration. And then, you basically ask the same questions again.

That's all fine. This is the net, and you can do whatever you wish, but I'm not sure what new I can tell you.

Based on my decade or so of experience on SA and experience even prior to that with relationships that would be called sugary these days, there's only three basic points that seem to apply to your search/questions:

- You are definitely NOT looking for a sugar arrangement that is typical of what is actually happening out there in the sugar bowl in terms of what you want in multiple respects. Basically you are looking for something that is MUCH MORE "SD friendly" (as you put it...nice phrase, btw) and thus MUCH LESS "SB friendly" than the norm.

- NEVERTHELESS it is definitely POSSIBLE to find what you are looking for or, indeed, even more "SD friendly" deals. I have encountered them myself a couple of times.

- Doing so will reuire A LOT, REALLY A LOT of time, attention and effort (online and in-person) unless you are exceptionally lucky for the simple reason that such "SD friendly" SBs are quite rare.

The above three points are simply summaries of what I and others (notably @MissInsomnia and @User#8628 but not just them) have said in other posts in this thread and similar ones in this forum...nothing new, just more concise.

Obviously I can only base the above on my personal experiences and what I have heard from other SDs on various forums (especially a couple of private ones). I hope you won't be annoyed with me; don't shoot the messenger! However, I could be quite wrong of course. No one's experience or their conclusions from it are unimpeachable fact.

The way, the only way afaik, to find out if I am wrong (at least for you) is to go out and prove it to yourself by finding yourself the sort of sugar arrangement you want reasonably quickly and easily. I sincerely wish you good luck in doing so, but posting more about it won't do you any good, imo.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

I had almost given up. My 30-40,000 yen/month budget seems paltry to the amount of money Wwanderer and others seem to be able to afford.
It`s interesting as I own two businesses, I also have a separate full time job, I own various pieces of land, but after all the bills I have to pay, I really can only afford 40K per month for my "hobby."

Imo, it would not be a good idea for us to get into the game of comparing our individual financial circumstances, and certainly what I will say about mine is very limited. What I would post about the fiscal sugar arrangements I have with specific SBs is essentially zero. No one else's business, not even slightly imo.

That said, I can confirm the monthly budget you mention as feasible for you is a great deal less than I spend on sugaring. I often spend in that neighborhood and occasionally significantly more just on the food, drinks, transportation, entertainment, accommodations etc for a single sugar date before even getting to the per date allowance I provide for my SB.

However, from what you say about your financial situation, I very much doubt that my income or wealth are very different from yours. The key difference, I suspect, is the phrase I made bold in your post. First of all I am at a stage of life in which my more or less mandatory expenses (raising and educating the kids, paying off mortgages and so forth) are dropping dramatically. (Sadly, one mandatory expense...family medical bills...is rising steadily.). Second, I don't spend much on a lot of other things to which most people devote a lot of their income. Travel is the only other major non-mandatory expense in my budget. I don't spend much at all compared to others in my income range on clothes, cars, fancy homes, expensive restaurants (except on dates), high cost hobbies etc. Basically I give sugaring a high priority for the simple reason that it is important to me.

And for sure there are SDs out there who spend much much more than me, and they are not all that rare. But they also tend to ask a lot more of their SBs than I ever would.

Anyway, the way I sugar, including what I spend, should not be considered the right or main or only way to do it. Do what you wish and don't worry about the other SDs but be prepared to have different experiences than they have as a result. But they can still be great and satisfying ones.

-Ww

 

[Rusty Trombone]

Just to add my 2 yen here.

There is a lot of good info on this thread, but most of it appears to be based around the financial aspect of Sugar.
Admittedly the OP has a set budget, but in my limited experience the financials is only a part of the arrangement, and there is something out there to cover all budgets. But if money is the main concern then I doubt the arrangement will prosper.

I think in the beginning you need to find someone who matches your expectations. It not just how much you pay them, but do you enjoy doing the same things as them, and a big one (as I've recently learned) is are your schedules compatible?
As an example, I currently have a SB who is a nurse. We had 2 dates before anything physical happened. We never discussed money as such, but after a few dates we fell into a pattern. I'd give X-amount for a platonic date and Y-amount for a date that included playtime. We have a great time together, BUT, our schedules don't work out. When I'm free, she's working nights, and when she is free, I'm not in Tokyo.

So while the financial aspect is important, I think you need to ask yourself what you are able to offer, and look for someone compatible.
Your value as a SD is not just how much you can pay her, it is also about the experiences you can share with her (dining at fine restaurants, travel etc), and also your ability to fill a void in her life (giving advice, being a shoulder to cry on etc)

 

[Wwanderer]

Just to add my 2 yen here.

Great points in this post which line up very well with my own experiences and "lessons learned". This is one of those posts I wish I could like much more than once.

if money is the main concern then I doubt the arrangement will prosper.

Very much this.

a big one (as I've recently learned) is are your schedules compatible?

God damn painfully true. I've lost some truly wonderful SBs to schedule incompatiblity. And it is not only in terms of daily availability in my experience. Another schedule problem is that many of the non-Japanese SBs on SA (and elsewhere) are only in Japan for a limited time, as students or for an internship or on a "working holiday" visa or whatever. They are maybe in Tokyo for only a year or two, and of course you don't necessarily meet them when they first arrive. More than once I've seen great arrangements end just as they were really taking off because my SB had to "go back home" (or somewhere else) to continue with her life. And it doesn't help that I am out of town a lot myself.

Your value as a SD is not just how much you can pay her, it is also about the experiences you can share with her (dining at fine restaurants, travel etc), and also your ability to fill a void in her life (giving advice, being a shoulder to cry one etc)

And even more this. For me, these factors are at the core of the sugaring experience.

-Ww

 

[namae]

Markets are constantly arbitraged , otherwise they are not efficient... no one should complain about that especially not me, and not the providers either. Be careful if you just follow your gut though (but thats a mistake i often make too, I admit).

Keep us posted on the deals you cut. Not much transparency in this market.

I have been lurking on SA for a while. Inbox is loaded with messages I can't read - but none of the profiles have made me want to jump in an open an account.

I could see SA/UC having a significant impact on the Tokyo dating/FWB- sex friend scene.

 

[meiji]

Let's watch the name calling, please. This is a place for exchanging information, so if you have a beef with someone or what someone has to say, keep it civil or take it somewhere else. We all like different things and we all come from different walks of life. If you don't want to pay someone's rate, that's fine, don't see that person. But don't complain that it's too high. It might be too high for YOU, and that's fine. Many providers charge what they charge not because it's what they think they are worth, or because it's 'what the market will bear'. It's because they either want to control who sees them and/or because they only want to see a certain number of hobbyists a week.

In terms of the sugar bowl, it's great that people are able to get a lot of nibbles from Seeking Arrangement. Maybe it might be good to tell people the sort of things you say in your profile or in messages to prospective SBs so that we can move this conversation forward.

 

[Frenchy]

Keep us posted on the deals you cut.

Of course not! I will meet my SBs at preferred conditions , even promote them here to get more brownie points, and heavily criticize those punters who dare to assume they could escape the rack rates and obtain similar conditions as mine

....naaaaaaa just kidding. Too much work and too evil, besides I guess it would be so obvious I would lose all credibility, right?

I'm not necessarily interested in getting the prices down, by the way, if I deem them reasonable to start with . More interested in the flexibility of just having a date with no string attached first, and going further if and only if there is mutual attraction and interest to do so, on mutually agreed conditions. Not the usual "her way or the highway, pay first and too bad if you dont like it" terms. I assumed it was completely impossible with escorts (or rude or against the "rules" etc), but in fact many ladies on SA understand and even welcome this approach, so far I have been very pleasantly surprised by the number and quality of messages received.
And i return the argument: those who want guaranteed payment upfront are just free to say no to MY conditions.

Yes, i will keep you posted. Hope it will make for pleasant experiences and reports. I dont necessarily enjoy the Resident Asshole status all the time...

 

[Snuggles]

I think SA originates somewhere in the US, maybe NY or SF, where pretty sick rates are standard and I think those categories in SA are not adjusted to location, only exchange rate applied. If you join the site as a girl and know little about this, do you really put yourself in the cheapest category?
Of course Tokyo has its fair share of wealthy guys as well as afluent business travelers, but a number of girls probably overestimate their value their. Others might just be happy with an occasional hit. Don't forget that SB is generally probably not a high volume business.

With 30 or 40k a month it will probably be difficult to find an exclusive arrangement, but nothing is impossible. Not all SB look for money only.

Her being exclusive is not what I require. Just FYI. I think what I can pay is way too low to expect that. And frankly I don't want to be exclusive. So I certainly don't expect her to be.

 

[wraithfive]

I wish I hadn't been away from TAG the last few days to get in earlier on this thread. Some great posts in here and I may come back with some specific replies a little later when I have more time.

For now I just wanted to say that in my personal experience so far on SA, as long as you are willing to put in the time you can find just about any type of arrangement you are looking for. TIME is the single most precious thing you have and will be spending on SA in search of your perfect arrangement. @Wwanderer, @Frenchy, myself and others have all posted (in reply to the OP at times) of our various views on sugaring, how we handle messaging, ect ect. The one thing I've taken away is that they all work, for us, and that we all seem to be succeeding to varying degrees. So just find your own style, be willing to spend the TIME you need, and good luck.

 

[Wwanderer]

I wish I hadn't been away from TAG the last few days to get in earlier on this thread.

I did wwonder where you were during this thread.

AWOL!!

Some great posts in here and I may come back with some specific replies a little later when I have more time.

Please do.

TIME is the single most precious thing you have and will be spending on SA in search of your perfect arrangement.

This.

But nevermind "perfect"; it takes a lot of TIME to find even a good one.

Indeed, it seems to me that SA may not be a good choice unless you also somewhat enjoy the process, the search itself, to some degree even when it doesn't lead to a successful arrangement. At least that works for me. I far more often than not enjoy meeting a pot SB even if nothing further comes of it; they tend to be interesting people with things to say that are worth hearing, imo.

-Ww

 

[Frenchy]

I wish I hadn't been away from TAG the last few days to get in earlier on this thread. Some great posts in here and I may come back with some specific replies a little later when I have more time.

For now I just wanted to say that in my personal experience so far on SA, as long as you are willing to put in the time you can find just about any type of arrangement you are looking for. TIME is the single most precious thing you have and will be spending on SA in search of your perfect arrangement. @Wwanderer, @Frenchy, myself and others have all posted (in reply to the OP at times) of our various views on sugaring, how we handle messaging, ect ect. The one thing I've taken away is that they all work, for us, and that we all seem to be succeeding to varying degrees. So just find your own style, be willing to spend the TIME you need, and good luck.

Totally agreed. Got a very pleasant evening yesterday at very favorable conditions , no cash upfront, no pressure to do anything after dinner (yet we did), review will follow this weekend. In the meantime I need to work for those man'en bills, unfortunately they dont grow magically

 

[Frenchy]

I did wwonder where you were during this thread.

AWOL!!



Please do.



This.

But nevermind "perfect"; it takes a lot of TIME to find even a good one.

Indeed, it seems to me that SA may not be a good choice unless you also somewhat enjoy the process, the search itself, to some degree even when it doesn't lead to a successful arrangement. At least that works for me. I far more often than not enjoy meeting a pot SB even if nothing further comes of it; they tend to be interesting people with things to say that are worth hearing, imo.

-Ww

Ladies and gentlemen, magic does happen sometimes, I agree with Ww.

There must be some kind of more rational process to follow up on all the SA inquiries though. The mailbox is overflowing and I just can't keep up. No bragging here, i didnt even post my pic publicly (well maybe I would get less requests if I did!) and my profile is slightly funny but relatively bland (although I can't compare with other men, it seems you can look only at the profiles of the gender you are looking for)

 

[namae]

Ladies and gentlemen, magic does happen sometimes, I agree with Ww.

r)

Feeling the love boys..... One love, eight days a week.

 

[MikeH]

Indeed, it seems to me that SA may not be a good choice unless you also somewhat enjoy the process, the search itself, to some degree even when it doesn't lead to a successful arrangement.

This. And not only related to SA, of which I know nothing, but finding someone and even life in general.

Guys come here asking how to find FWB or SB or girlfriend or whatever and expect some clean cut quick answer. But as with anything worthwhile doing these things takes time. And if you don't enjoy the process then it's gonna feel like work.

 

[Wwanderer]

Guys come here asking how to find FWB or SB or girlfriend or whatever and expect some clean cut quick answer. But as with anything worthwhile doing these things takes time. And if you don't enjoy the process then it's gonna feel like work.

It is sort of amusing when you think about it.

There's the group you mention who seem to imagine it is like baking a cake, just look up a recipe and maybe get a few tips from friends, then follow the step-by-step directions carefully to the pre-determined result. Then there are the PUAs who are convinced that it is an arcane art or skill that takes study, vast amounts of practice (thousands of hours some have said on TAG) and perhaps formal training from a "master" before you can expect even a very modest rate of success. One group greatly underestimates the task while the other greatly overestimates it. But the reality for most people is that it is nothing like either of those groups perceive it. Rather it is one, but only one, important category of social interactions that is best learned for yourself from and via your daily experiences through a natural and intrinsically enjoyable process called living.

-Ww

 

[Wwanderer]

Totally agreed. Got a very pleasant evening yesterday at very favorable conditions , no cash upfront, no pressure to do anything after dinner (yet we did), review will follow this weekend. In the meantime I need to work for those man'en bills, unfortunately they dont grow magically

Good for you on your success, but the bit I made bold concerns me slightly. If you only mean that you plan to post the tale of your "pleasant evening" in more detail, no problem. But if you mean a review in the sense of escort reviews where you identify the SB, give the information needed to contact her, evaluate her is some way etc, I strongly suggest that you first get her permission to do so. It is definitely very uncommon and widely regarded as a terrible betrayal for SDs to review an SB in the manner that mongers review escorts without the SB's prior permission.

-Ww