The Anything Goes Thread

IchigoDave said:
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Living in Japan was the first time in my life I'd been surrounded by a significant number of Brits, and their barbarous take on the English language. For the first six or so months, I actually couldn't understand some of them (the ones from blue-collar areas). I remember the first time the topic of the pronunciation of "pedophile" came up.

THEM: "You Americans say PED-o-phile, right?"

ME: "Yeah, why? How do you say it?"

THEM: "It's pronounced, 'PEE-do-phile.'"

ME: "Fuck that, that sounds fucking gay. That can't be correct."

THEM: "How do you pronounce the word, PEDIATRICIAN?"

ME: (Silence)

THEM: "You stupid American cunt."

That's also how I figured out this new, interesting take on the world "cunt." I probably learned more about the English language than Japanese while living in Japan.
 
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Keihan said:
Living in Japan was the first time in my life I'd been surrounded by a significant number of Brits, and their barbarous take on the English language. For the first six or so months, I actually couldn't understand some of them (the ones from blue-collar areas). I remember the first time the topic of the pronunciation of "pedophile" came up.

THEM: "You Americans say PED-o-phile, right?"

ME: "Yeah, why? How do you say it?"

THEM: "It's pronounced, 'PEE-do-phile.'"

ME: "Fuck that, that sounds fucking gay. That can't be correct."

THEM: "How do you pronounce the word, PEDIATRICIAN?"

ME: (Silence)

THEM: "You stupid American cunt."

That's also how I figured out this new, interesting take on the world "cunt." I probably learned more about the English language than Japanese while living in Japan.
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Instead of silence he should have said, "How do you pronounce PEDESTRIAN?" Or PEDASTOOL or PISS OFF LIMEY!
 
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Keihan said:
Living in Japan was the first time in my life I'd been surrounded by a significant number of Brits, and their barbarous take on the English language. For the first six or so months, I actually couldn't understand some of them (the ones from blue-collar areas). I remember the first time the topic of the pronunciation of "pedophile" came up.

THEM: "You Americans say PED-o-phile, right?"

ME: "Yeah, why? How do you say it?"

THEM: "It's pronounced, 'PEE-do-phile.'"

ME: "Fuck that, that sounds fucking gay. That can't be correct."

THEM: "How do you pronounce the word, PEDIATRICIAN?"

ME: (Silence)

THEM: "You stupid American cunt."

That's also how I figured out this new, interesting take on the world "cunt." I probably learned more about the English language than Japanese while living in Japan.
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As the old saying goes, “Britain and America are two nations divided by a common language.”
 
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If only it could be this simple.

F062EDE1-2E92-4D5B-9D01-CDB188384338.jpeg
 
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IchigoDave said:
I remember when Taco Bell had the .59, .79, .99 value menu
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In all fairness, that wasn't THAT long ago. I actually worked at a Taco Bell during my summer break in college, and I remember the $0.79 menu items. I think the standard crunchy and soft tacos were on that one, along with the cinnamon twists, maybe the cheese enchilada? OK, so it was a little over 20 years ago.

It actually wasn't too bad of a job. The downside was working on a Sunday morning, still very obviously drunk, watching all the hot girls stop in on their way to the beach, mall or something better than standing at a Taco Bell cash register in a fucking aqua blue Taco Bell cap and striped Taco Bell polo shirt. The upside was the caliber of worker/manager, plus the lack of supervision and oversight during the late shift. The "assistant managers" (meaning mid-20s HS drop-out potheads) were left in charge of closing up at night, so maybe 10 minutes before closing we'd make up a whole mess of chicken/steak chalupas and mexican pizzas, shut down the store, lock the doors, grab the bongs from our cars and the Old English 40s from the hidden spot in the walk-in refrigerator and get drunk and high as fuck in the kitchen, sitting on the floor eating all the free food. After we were properly shitfaced we'd steal a bunch of tomatoes, go outside the store and start throwing them at passing cars on the highway.

And mind you, that was just two years before I showed up for work in Japan. So much for the immigration screening process allowing in only quality workers.
 
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Read about Matt Hancock, this is the perfect example of someone needing a regular dude friend to tell him what not to do.
Don’t give your married woman on the side a role in your office
Don’t give her a high level paying job
Don’t make out with her in the office if you know there are cameras. Someone broke might actually be watching the videos from time to time.

A regular dude friend would have made him realize he has shit to lose.
 
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