Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

Sudsy said:
Better watch it with the thieving ways, or you might end up behind bars.

Though with you being a heavy reader, that might be not such a bad thing... prison libraries are surprisingly well stocked.

In fact, the prose outweighs the cons.
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Yes, you know what they say about thievery though. It's only illegal because they bandit.

And I am a bit of a bookworm! Just the other day my at home reading session was interrupted when a stray book fell right on my head.

I could only blame my shelf...
 
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C4ssandra said:
Yes, you know what they say about thievery though. It's only illegal because they bandit.

And I am a bit of a bookworm! Just the other day my at home reading session was interrupted when a stray book fell right on my head.

I could only blame my shelf...
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Two jokes in one. Superb!
 
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How about an R rated dad joke...

What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?
A slut will fuck anyone. A bitch will fuck anyone but you.
 
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C4ssandra said:
And I am a bit of a bookworm! Just the other day my at home reading session was interrupted when a stray book fell right on my head.

I could only blame my shelf...
Click to expand...

Funny you should mention that - I had plans to read these series about the formation of sinkholes, but they fell through.
 
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C4ssandra said:
Ah that's a shame...Well if that series is a bust, how about you try the anti-gravity anthology? They're impossible to put down!
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Interesting. It would be an improvement over the series I picked up on chiropractic techniques.

Ever single book had a cracked spine.
 
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Durg50 said:
When Im with my Spanish friends I always use the word mucho
It means a lot to them.
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It's been five minutes and I am still cracking every time I try to look at my phone. The lady sitting next to me in the train decided she wants to rather change to the next car. But I made a new friend too, the toddler sitting on the other side now laughs with me. And her mom is a spinner.
 
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IchigoDave said:
A slut will fuck anyone. A bitch will fuck anyone but you.
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Oh no, I’m getting flashbacks... 9 year old Simona overheard her dad telling the exact same joke (in our language, not English) to his friends after a dinner party when the men were getting a bit tipsy around the barbecue.
Smart ass me went to school on Monday and tried to sell this joke to my friends. (Because primary school kids are well versed on the subject of sluts aren’t they?) Teacher caught me potty mouthed and reprimanded me, then I proudly defended myself by saying “but I’ve heard this from my FATHER”

Dad was not amused that he got the urgent call to a one on one parent teacher meeting... mum was fuming.
 
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MikeH said:
It's been five minutes and I am still cracking every time I try to look at my phone. The lady sitting next to me in the train decided she wants to rather change to the next car. But I made a new friend too, the toddler sitting on the other side now laughs with me. And her mom is a spinner.
Click to expand...
His name is Johnny btw :p
 
Simonka said:
Oh no, I’m getting flashbacks... 9 year old Simona overheard her dad telling the exact same joke (in our language, not English) to his friends after a dinner party when the men were getting a bit tipsy around the barbecue.
Smart ass me went to school on Monday and tried to sell this joke to my friends. (Because primary school kids are well versed on the subject of sluts aren’t they?) Teacher caught me potty mouthed and reprimanded me, then I proudly defended myself by saying “but I’ve heard this from my FATHER”

Dad was not amused that he got the urgent call to a one on one parent teacher meeting... mum was fuming.
Click to expand...
Nark
 
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