Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[Ken1988]

View attachment 15166

So it was not an Aussie joke after all.

 

[IchigoDave]

So it was not an Aussie joke after all.

 

[Frenchy]

So it was not an Aussie joke after all.

Hey this is the terrible dad jokes thread
Don’t expect hilarious subtetly

 

[AMcguyver]

I’m trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot.

 

[Sudsy]

I learned something interesting over the weekend - how determine the sex of an ant.

Turns out that all you need to is drop it in a a shot glass full of water.

If it sinks, it's female.

If It floats... boy ant.

 

[namae]

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

 

[IchigoDave]

Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

 

[Sudsy]

Be on the lookout, everyone!

Apparently the midget fortune teller that used to murder her clients to make sure her predictions of their day of death came true just escaped from prison.

The police have advised that there is a small medium at large.

 

[Simonka]

What do you call a factory that produces passable products?

Satisfactory.

 

[AMcguyver]

I once asked Frenchy if he played video games.
He said Wii!

 

[Sudsy]

 

[namae]

View attachment 15212

Gina's hit menopause and gone all pear shaped.

 

[AMcguyver]

Life is like toilet paper. You're either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

 

[UnicornHunter]

I put my grandma on speed dial. I now call her Insta-gram.

 

[Sudsy]

I saw a man that used different cuts of steak to create portraits of people.

It was a rare medium, but well done.

 

[C4ssandra]

What is your definition of a dad’s joke?
Just unfunny, or it needs other characteristics?
Because if its just unfunny I can serve you loads of teenagers or millennials jokes which fit very well too

I'd say that a joke becomes a "dad joke" when it becomes apparent

 

[Frenchy]

I'd say that a joke becomes a "dad joke" when it becomes apparent

well I don’t get half of them even after pondering them for hours if not days sometimes (especially @IchigoDave’s ones and he’s twice daddier than me) so I cannot comment on this

 

[IchigoDave]

well I don’t get half of them even after pondering them for hours if not days sometimes (especially @IchigoDave’s ones and he’s twice daddier than me) so I cannot comment on this

I would think the dad-ness of my jokes is quite apparent. Put it this way . . . if the punchline of the joke makes your eyes roll then it is a dad joke. Are you familiar with おやじギャグ? Same thing.

 

[namae]

Which computer sings the best?

A Dell.

 

[IchigoDave]

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

 

[IchigoDave]

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

 

[just4fun]

If I ever had kids, I'd name them Sam and Ella

 

[IchigoDave]

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

 

[C4ssandra]

well I don’t get half of them even after pondering them for hours if not days sometimes (especially @IchigoDave’s ones and he’s twice daddier than me) so I cannot comment on this

It..it was another dad joke lol.

When it becomes "apparent" "a parent." Like a parent is a dad.

I guess dad jokes also work best in people's native tongues so maybe that's part of why you don't get some of them? I think a lot of dad jokes rely on subtle wordplay more than anything else.

 

[IchigoDave]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.