Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[Frenchy]

View attachment 15625

Ok, 1 mn on it, then I gave up
Pretty sure would have been same result after a full hour

 

[AMcguyver]

Ok, 1 mn on it, then I gave up
Pretty sure would have been same result after a full hour

 

[shadowboxer]

I know a joke about the corona virus, but it's tasteless.

 

[MikeH]

Ok, 1 mn on it, then I gave up
Pretty sure would have been same result after a full hour

Don't worry, even I had to give it a good 10 minutes. Only then I remembered the only guy who can sport a pink suit and still not look gay.

 

[Nikkei Guy]

I just broke up with my crossed eyed girlfriend. We didn’t see eye to eye.

 

[AMcguyver]

Apparently someone stole the toilets from all the Tokyo 交番.
The police have nothing to go on.

 

[TSullivan17]

What does the flamingo say when he is angry? "I've had enough, I'm putting my other foot down."

 

[AMcguyver]

How do you make a samurai run?

Get shogun.

 

[namae]

View attachment 15625

'Cause she's nibbling him with those teeth
And she's playing with his nuts, I just know it
And he's stroking her bushy tush late, late at night
...
Where can I find a cock squirrel like that.

 

[UnicornHunter]

Lately everyone has been so polite over in Trump's White House... Seems like everyone is saying, "Pardon me..."

 

[MikeH]

I just broke up with my crossed eyed girlfriend. We didn’t see eye to eye.

I accidentally bumped in to her in a corridor. She was really pissed and screamed "Why don't you look where you're going?"

All I could answer was "Why don't you go where you're looking?".

 

[oLUXo]

What does a baby computer call his father?

Data!

 

[IchigoDave]

The actor James Dean never got a visit from Santa.
He was a rebel without a Claus.

 

[Sudsy]

I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo

It was great.

She’s a keeper.

 

[Majestyk]

Read this on my timeline:

What do you call a confused au pair in Japan?

A nani.

 

[Sudsy]

So, it's been a pretty rough last few days.

We found out that the cemetery where we interred my grandfather placed him in the wrong plot back in 1985.

It was a grave mistake.

 

[Frenchy]

So, it's been a pretty rough last few days.

We found out that the cemetery where we interred my grandfather placed him in the wrong plot back in 1985.

It was a grave mistake.

cute! I like this one!

 

[maikeru]

Children, behave!
Or Santa will bring you a new lockdown!

 

[oLUXo]

Him: Hey babe, whats better than 69?
Her: Um...I don't know.
Him: 88
Her: WHAT?!?! Why?
Him: Because you get ate twice

 

[AMcguyver]

I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It’s a complex complex complex.

 

[namae]

How do you make a strawberry shake?


Take it to a horror movie.

 

[MikeH]

Him: Hey babe, whats better than 69?
Her: Um...I don't know.
Him: 88
Her: WHAT?!?! Why?
Him: Because you get ate twice

I like 68 the best. She blows me and then I owe her one.

 

[oLUXo]

I like 68 the best. She blows me and then I owe her one.

Be careful if you owe her one. She might make you blow her side dude

 

[shadowboxer]

How do you make a strawberry shake?


Take it to a horror movie.

Help!

 

[Sudsy]

Children, behave!
Or Santa will bring you a new lockdown!

View attachment 15730

This isn’t a dad joke, and dad jokes are not visual either.