Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[Frenchy]

This isn’t a dad joke, and dad jokes are not visual either.

So I guess that’s why I understood this one

 

[SugoiBoy]

This isn’t a dad joke, and dad jokes are not visual either.

Maybe it’s a mom joke

After all, some Germans do call her Mutti

 

[shadowboxer]

Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
Because she outgrew her B-shells!

 

[UnicornHunter]

Daddy, I don't want to visit grandma again....

Shut up and keep digging!

 

[AMcguyver]

Last year I tried to sue United for losing my luggage.

I lost my case.

 

[shadowboxer]

How do you know when Santa’s in the room?

You can sense his presents.

 

[Frenchy]

 

[MikeH]

View attachment 15791

 

[Frenchy]

View attachment 15792

Ok not a great joke but I love that song!

 

[MikeH]

Ok not a great joke but I love that song!

It was a great Dad Joke.

 

[IchigoDave]

By G_d I think Frenchy is learning what dad jokes are about.

 

[Frenchy]

By G_d I think Frenchy is learning what dad jokes are about.

It’s been a long, dark and arduous tunnel but I think I start to see the light

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[just4fun]

 

[shadowboxer]

A man goes to a doctor and says "I've got a problem, I have 5 penises."
The doctor asks "Wow, how do your pants fit?"
The man replies: "Like a glove."

 

[AMcguyver]

I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.

 

[IchigoDave]

What do you call a pachyderm that doesn’t matter?

Irrelephant

 

[IchigoDave]

What do you call ten Jewish men eating steak?

Filet minyan

 

[shadowboxer]

Why did David Hasselhoff change his name to “The Hoff?”

It’s less hassle.

 

[AMcguyver]

They say New York City has the best New Year's celebration, but I say it's overrated. Every year they drop the ball.

 

[shadowboxer]

What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso.

 

[UnicornHunter]

Looking back at 2020....
I think I hurt my neck!

 

[shadowboxer]

Guy walks up to the widow at her husbands funeral and says, “May I just say one word?”

“Sure,” she replies.

“Plethora.”

The widow says, “Thanks. That means a lot.”

 

[IchigoDave]

Why do we say “amen” in church, and not “a-women”?

Because we sing hymns, not hers.

 

[shadowboxer]

Why do we say “amen” in church, and not “a-women”?

Because we sing hymns, not hers.

Well....