Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[AMcguyver]

Children in the dark make accidents

But accidents in the dark make children

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[UnicornHunter]

Spell check is my enema...

 

[Ken4fb]

Two atoms walk into a bar.

One says to the other, “Dang, I left my electrons in the car.”

The other replies, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m positive.”

 

[averageguy]

"How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?" "You follow the fresh prints."

 

[AMcguyver]

 

[UnicornHunter]

The only thing a Flat Earther fears is sphere itself.....

 

[impish]

Two cowboys are walking through the desert. They are hungry, thirsty, and tired. One of them looks up and see a tree, the trees leaves are made of bacon. He runs towards the tree "a bacon tree!" he exclaims to his friend. Half way there he gets shot several time coming from the direction of the tree. It wasn't a bacon tree after all it was a ham bush.

 

[Sudsy]

I met a magical Genie. He gave me one wish.

I said, "I wish I could be you."

The Genue saud, "Weurd wush but U wull grant ut."

And then he sent me to New Zealand.

 

[resiman]

I met a magical Genie. He gave me one wish.

I said, "I wish I could be you."

The Genue saud, "Weurd wush but U wull grant ut."

And then he sent me to New Zealand.

Wut? Dinna git tha atoll.

 

[IchigoDave]

Why are chickens so funny?

Becaaaaaaaaaause!

 

[SquidCity]

Where do chickens learn life skills?

Nagoya

 

[impish]

What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe!

 

[averageguy]

How do you deal with a fear of speed bumps? You slowly get over it.

 

[UnicornHunter]

I like telling Dad jokes..... Sometimes he laughs.

 

[impish]

We all know why 6 was afraid of 7, it was because 7 ate 9, but why did 7 eat 9, well it's because you need 3 squared meals a day.

 

[SquidCity]

We all know why 6 was afraid of 7, it was because 7 ate 9, but why did 7 eat 9, well it's because you need 3 squared meals a day.

No actually, twas because 7 can’t s10 looking at 9 with that giant c8

 

[IchigoDave]

What do you call a one-legged man from India?

Balan Singh

 

[IchigoDave]

Why does Spider-Man‘s calendar only have 11 months?

Because he lost May.

 

[IchigoDave]

A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit enter a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “what’s your blood type?”

“I’m a type O” said the rabbit.

 

[UnicornHunter]

Marriage is a walk in the park.... Jurrasic Park.

 

[just4fun]

 

[IchigoDave]

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his fur?

Chocolate chip wookie

 

[shadowboxer]

A: What is 6.9?

B: No idea.

A: A good thing ruined by a period.

 

[impish]

How do you know when a joke is a dad joke? It's a parent.