Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
 
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IchigoDave said:
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
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Thanks. I got it. Theres still hope
 
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Durg50 said:
Hey, ive just heard that there is a necrophiliac on the prowl around Tokyo.

look alive people
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But in all seriousness, I had an uncle that was a necrophiliac.

We had to ban him from coming to funerals... he always ended up with a case of mourning wood.
 
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Sudsy said:
But in all seriousness, I had an uncle that was a necrophiliac.

We had to ban him from coming to funerals... he always ended up with a case of mourning wood.
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A whole case?
 
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A litterally terrible Dad joke... the offspring told me she was intrigued by a guy at her school who is socially awkward , neurotic and always gloomy. I replied she should hook up with him, sounds exactly like her. I should write a book about healthy parenting
 
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IchigoDave said:
Reminds me of something my girls said to me when I had “the talk“ with them.

Me: whatever you do don’t fuck any idiots.
Them: We don’t love you that much
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i think (if she asked me) I would provide some similar advice , along the line of :
Ranking of best potential boyfriends
1. A girlfriend
2. The kind of guy she was referring to (bonus point if he’s rich and can take care of her expenses. I pay for the tuition and thats already a lot)
Etc etc
999. Mikey
1000. A biker sociopathic thug dealing drugs with rapist tendencies
 
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Frenchy said:
i think (if she asked me) I would provide some similar advice , along the line of :
Ranking of best potential boyfriends
1. A girlfriend
2. The kind of guy she was referring to (bonus point if he’s rich and can take care of her expenses. I pay for the tuition and thats already a lot)
Etc etc
999. Mikey
1000. A biker sociopathic thug dealing drugs with rapist tendencies
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Really?

I would have thought Mikey would rank a few places lower.....
 
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MikeH said:
You are just pissed you became one rank lower than me.
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Wait... he did NOT write sociopathic power-mad HR hatchetman.
 
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