Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[Frenchy]

I still don’t u derstabc most of da jokes here
But imma bad daddy
Also im drukn

 

[YokoMonger]

I still don’t u derstabc most of da jokes here
But imma bad daddy
Also im drukn

Oh, that explains the reply to my post in the viagra thread.

 

[IchigoDave]

I still don’t u derstabc most of da jokes here
But imma bad daddy
Also im drukn

Better to be posting while drunk than getting stoned with your offspring . . . and then posting on here.

 

[Mr Osaka]

Here's a joke that I picked up while studying in the Philippines 🤣

So there was a Japanese who went to visit Manila. He took a taxi from the airport to his hotel.

He was so patriotic. Every time thEy see a Toyota, he would tell the driver, "[Redacted #91]. very fast! Very fast!"

The driver said , "I see."

Everytime they see a Honda, he would say, "[Redacted #91]. Very fast! Very fast""

The driver nods and says "I see."

Everytime they see a Nissan he would say, "[Redacted #91]! very fast !very fast!"

The driver was getting irritated but he still nodded.

They finally reached the hotel and the meter read 5000 pesos which was about 12,000 yen.

The Japanese was surprised. He complained to the driver about the amount.

The driver pointed to the meter. "[Redacted #91]. Very fast! Very fast!"

 

[MikeH]

But imma bad daddy

I thought you were a sugar daddy?

This thread is only for terrible dads and their jokes.

 

[IchigoDave]

Someone broke into my house and stole all my fruit.


I was peachless.

 

[IchigoDave]

What do gay cows eat?


Haaaaaay!

 

[AMcguyver]

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery…I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

 

[just4fun]

 

[Mr Osaka]

What kind of bee makes milk?

Boo-Bees

 

[YokoMonger]

View attachment 20292

@requiemmorrow found his new wallpaper for his computer.

 

[just4fun]

 

[AMcguyver]

If Frenchy wore sandals, would his name be Phillipe Flop?

 

[IchigoDave]

Never yell into a colander.

It will strain your voice.

 

[IchigoDave]

Where do you find a cow with no legs?


Where you left it.

 

[Coolcow]

Where do you find a cow with no legs?


Where you left it.

Are you hating on Cows?

 

[AMcguyver]

Anyone looking to buy a Delorean? Good shape, good mileage. Only been driven from time to time.

 

[just4fun]

What's the difference between Black Eye Peas and Chickpeas? The Black Eye Peas can sing us a song and the Chickpeas can hummus one!!!

 

[AMcguyver]

Spent all day yesterday constructing a beehive but when I finished it, I realized I had forgotten to put in an exit.

It was unbelievable.

 

[just4fun]

 

[Alice]

View attachment 20430

I feel this

 

[IchigoDave]

When I was in high school I got into an argument with one of my teachers. She asked me if I was ignorant, or apathetic. I told her I don’t know and I don’t care.

 

[just4fun]

I feel this

I'd like to feel it too

 

[Sudsy]

Studies have shown that membership in organised religion has been falling for decades.

Prophets are down.

 

[IchigoDave]

I drank holy water with my laxative.

I’m about to start a religious movement.