Terrible Dad Jokes Thread

[MikeH]

What’s the best thing to put behind your ears?

Your legs

Somebody has been trying to suck himself it seems. But one does wonder does it feel more like getting a BJ or giving one?

 

[Sudsy]

What’s the best thing to put behind your ears?

Your legs

This thread is for dad jokes - adult jokes is a separate thread.

 

[Sudsy]

I got arrested today for walking out of an art museum with a painting.

No idea why...

I asked the security guard if I could take a picture and they said "yes".

 

[Durg50]

What’s the best thing to put behind your ears?

Your legs

Not really a dad joke is it

 

[AMcguyver]

 

[SquidCity]

Not really a dad joke is it

I guess? My dad’s not too good at jokes

 

[Alice]

Somebody has been trying to suck himself it seems. But one does wonder does it feel more like getting a BJ or giving one?

Don’t forget to remove a rib first.

 

[MikeH]

I guess? My dad’s not too good at jokes

I would like to disagree, he made you.

 

[MikeH]

A guy stole all my Viagra so I went to the koban to report the crime. The police said it would be difficult to get it back as he is a hardened criminal.

 

[Sudsy]

A guy stole all my Viagra so I went to the koban to report the crime. The police said it would be difficult to get it back as he is a hardened criminal.

Turns out they caught they guy!

He didn't swallow the Viagra fast enough.

They caught him at the hospital getting treated for a stiff neck.

 

[SquidCity]

What do you call a French pastry?

Kurowas-san

 

[Sudsy]

What do you call a French pastry?

Kurowas-san

Ta blague est mauvaise et tu devrais te sentir mal.

If you really want a joke on that theme.....

What do you call your French mother's angry sister?

Your cross-aunt.

Bonus content:

I once asked @Frenchy if he played video games.

He said Wii.

 

[Frenchy]

Ta blague est mauvaise et tu devrais te sentir mal.

If you really want a joke on that theme.....

What do you call your French mother's angry sister?

Your cross-aunt.

Bonus content:

I once asked @Frenchy if he played video games.

He said Wii.

Thats thevworst dad’s joke so far snd Im an expert 👍

 

[IchigoDave]

Norway has barcodes on the sides of all their military ships so when they come into port they can Scandinavian.

 

[IchigoDave]

 

[AMcguyver]

This year's Fibonacci convention is going to be really special. Apparently it's as big as the last two put together.

 

[UnicornHunter]

I tried to tell a joke to a cow but I just butchered it....

 

[IchigoDave]

There was a professional wrestler who would grab his opponents in a headlock, and then write his name on their faces. It was his signature move.

 

[Frenchy]

 

[AMcguyver]

Why was Boy George banned from the lizard enclosure at the zoo?
Because he Karma Karma Kummed on the Chameleon.

 

[Alice]

Why was Boy George banned from the lizard enclosure at the zoo?
Because he Karma Karma Kummed on the Chameleon.

He cums and goes.

 

[MikeH]

He cums and goes.

Almost like a koala; eats bush and leaves.

 

[averageguy]

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field!

 

[YokoMonger]

What's the difference between a rooster and your mom? A rooster says "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo" while your mom says "Any cock'll do".

 

[impish]

Where do bad rainbows go? To prism, it's a light sentence, gives them time to reflect....